Question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone, online games, and social networking Website.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
since the developmet of high technique, children are more exposed on convenience than the past. cell phone makes people can easily finish the work and enjoy the leisure in the electronic square box. Unlike the children who live decade ago spent several minutes for the one word by using a dictionary. Recent, however,children can finish it within a few seconds. Otherwise, through this convenience I believe it makes children be more difficult to educate than the past with the several reasons.
In the past, all entertainment activities are directly related with educative purpose. In order to win the basic game as rock scissor paper, children unintentionally think and use brain to predict what others will show. through this process, they can learn statistic and participate in psychological training by analyzing opponents face. However, since the advent of the cell phone, children are no longer willing to take thinking process. The game they engage in with a cell phone or video make them merely accept the knowledge. For instance, Running high, the game which was the most popular in Korea, require only simple tough of screen. win or lose is decided depend on how quick their finger move. it did not require any intellectual ability for the whole story. Not only most of the children willing to do this kind of game, but they also pay any attention to the game that require brain use. Naturally, children feel antipathy toward thinking process and become dull. Actually, according to the research of Korean education organization, children who are not using a cell phone are possible to utilize the sense of the brain show seven percent higher percent of brain than the children who use the cell phone. Nowadays children do not want to get a way from the maximized convenience from the cell phone.
Some people can say that by using a cell phone, children can efficiently utilize functions for the educative purposes and it will ultimately provide more significant success of learning process. it is true but due to the diverse functions of cell phone, children can be more easily losing the track of their educative purpose. For example, children can log in the internet and receive the text message when they want. The game promotion advertisement and message can allure children. text from children also part of the temptation. In the adolescent age it is difficult to deny that children maintain less motivation to get rid of this temptation.
For the conclusion, due to the convenience of the cell phone, children’s brain becomes solid and resists to take the thinking process. Furthermore, frequent tempting messages make their concentration more hard to focus on one task.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Since
since the developmet of high technique, child...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 97, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Cell
...e exposed on convenience than the past. cell phone makes people can easily finish th...
^^^^
Line 1, column 317, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , children
...d by using a dictionary. Recent, however,children can finish it within a few seconds. Oth...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...han the past with the several reasons. In the past, all entertainment activitie...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 225, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Through
...brain to predict what others will show. through this process, they can learn statistic ...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 646, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Win
...a, require only simple tough of screen. win or lose is decided depend on how quick ...
^^^
Line 2, column 708, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
... depend on how quick their finger move. it did not require any intellectual abilit...
^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...mized convenience from the cell phone. Some people can say that by using a cell...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 192, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to process'
Suggestion: to process
...de more significant success of learning process. it is true but due to the diverse func...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 200, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ignificant success of learning process. it is true but due to the diverse function...
^^
Line 3, column 489, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Text
...sement and message can allure children. text from children also part of the temptati...
^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ivation to get rid of this temptation. For the conclusion, due to the convenien...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 108, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'resists taking'.
Suggestion: resists taking
...children's brain becomes solid and resists to take the thinking process. Furthermore, freq...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, furthermore, however, if, second, so, for example, for instance, kind of, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 43.0788530466 51% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.0752688172 186% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2257.0 1977.66487455 114% => OK
No of words: 445.0 407.700716846 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07191011236 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.59293186426 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74329104395 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 212.727598566 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.512359550562 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 715.5 618.680645161 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 9.59856630824 31% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.5795334269 48.9658058833 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.28 100.406767564 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.8 20.6045352989 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.2 5.45110844103 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.5376344086 235% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.213798180761 0.236089414692 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0656910876881 0.076458572812 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0455004344775 0.0737576698707 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.140491017821 0.150856017488 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0300413638716 0.0645574589148 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 11.7677419355 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 58.1214874552 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.83 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.17 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 86.8835125448 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.