Some parents offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think this is a good idea

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

One of the most important things parents can do for children is to support their learning. Nothing is more important than how a child learns. The way a child learns will affect their future and influences our entire society too. So when considering whether parents should motivate their children to study by paying for getting high grades, I would have to say this is a good idea. I would say this is a fantastic idea.

The first reason is that when parents offer their children money when they earn high grades, children will develop an excellent opportunity to learn how to manage money. When they get money like this, they will decide and learn how to spend it on important things. This skill will support children throughout their entire life.
For example, my brother illustrates this perfectly. He's 12 years old before, whenever we would go to the mall, he would pick any toy his eyes see because he thought my parents would buy it for him. However, this year, my parents started to offer him money only when he earned high grades. My parents stopped buying him little things like toys. As a result, he now thinks twice about what he buys because it's his money. Now, he knows how to manage money well and I trust fully that he will continue to think carefully with his money as he grows into an adult.

That's why I believe offering children money for high grades is a fantastic idea. If all parents did this, their children, just as with my brother, would learn how to manage money, an essential skill for their life.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 53, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: He's
... my brother illustrates this perfectly. Hes 12 years old before, whenever we would ...
^^^
Line 4, column 405, Rule ID: IT_IS[17]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...thinks twice about what he buys because its his money. Now, he knows how to manage ...
^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: That's
...his money as he grows into an adult. Thats why I believe offering children money f...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, so, well, for example, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 15.1003584229 40% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 13.8261648746 22% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 23.0 52.1666666667 44% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 0.0 8.0752688172 0% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1262.0 1977.66487455 64% => OK
No of words: 273.0 407.700716846 67% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.62271062271 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.06481385082 4.48103885553 91% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.21289688219 2.67179642975 83% => OK
Unique words: 149.0 212.727598566 70% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.545787545788 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 364.5 618.680645161 59% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.3 1.51630824373 86% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.94265232975 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.8206428094 48.9658058833 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 78.875 100.406767564 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.0625 20.6045352989 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.375 5.45110844103 62% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.319423910248 0.236089414692 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.121218528013 0.076458572812 159% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0820104454059 0.0737576698707 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.226845960359 0.150856017488 150% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0661158689689 0.0645574589148 102% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.9 11.7677419355 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 79.6 58.1214874552 137% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.4 10.1575268817 63% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.22 10.9000537634 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.74 8.01818996416 84% => OK
difficult_words: 39.0 86.8835125448 45% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.