Some parents offer their school age children money for getting high grade in school

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school age children money for getting high grade in school

These days offering money by parents to children for getting good marks in school is prevalent. And has become one of the most popular way of encouraging. While some people think that it is hurtful method, there are others holding view that offering money for good grades makes them more active during the studying. As far as i am concerned, offering money to children can plays an important role to their marks because not only it keeps them motivated ,but also makes school and learning more enjoyable; in addition, they learn how working and trying can lead to money and financial management.

The first reason should be pointed out here is that, paying for getting good grades can makes student motivated to study more and more, and it is helpful to keep student motivated in studying. Many years ago as a child i was studying for final year exam, and i was bored, and did not have enough intensive for studying. I wanted to work and making money in order to buy a bycicle, I sayed this to my mom, and she offered me a bycicle after getting overall mark of 19. Finally i got the the average mark of 19, and my mom bought a bycicle as price.

The other subtle point witch deserves some points in that children who was offered money a price experience learning very enjoyable activity. For instance a children who has financial problems cannot concentrate only on learning. He has to work and study, and working decrease time of studying, also he learns fewer because of tiredness.

Third, children who are offered money can learn how they should manage their money because they learn this skill in their childhood. Also they realize that by working and trying they can make money .It will benefit these people in future.

In conclusion, offering money as a price to school-age children can effect on their marks because not only it keeps them motivated ,but also makes learning more enjoyable; in addition, they learn how working and trying can lead to money.

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Average: 6.3 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 327, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...e active during the studying. As far as i am concerned, offering money to childr...
^
Line 1, column 357, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...As far as i am concerned, offering money to children can plays an important role ...
^^
Line 1, column 454, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...because not only it keeps them motivated ,but also makes school and learning more ...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... money and financial management. The first reason should be pointed out h...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 225, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
... in studying. Many years ago as a child i was studying for final year exam, and i...
^
Line 5, column 265, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...i was studying for final year exam, and i was bored, and did not have enough inte...
^
Line 5, column 474, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Finally,
...cicle after getting overall mark of 19. Finally i got the the average mark of 19, and m...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 482, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...ter getting overall mark of 19. Finally i got the the average mark of 19, and my ...
^
Line 5, column 488, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...tting overall mark of 19. Finally i got the the average mark of 19, and my mom bought a...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 488, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...tting overall mark of 19. Finally i got the the average mark of 19, and my mom bought a...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y mom bought a bycicle as price. The other subtle point witch deserves so...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 161, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a child' or simply 'children'?
Suggestion: a child; children
...g very enjoyable activity. For instance a children who has financial problems cannot conce...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...arns fewer because of tiredness. Third, children who are offered money ca...
^^^^
Line 13, column 138, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ey learn this skill in their childhood. Also they realize that by working and trying...
^^^^
Line 13, column 202, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...y working and trying they can make money .It will benefit these people in future. ...
^^
Line 13, column 204, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...working and trying they can make money .It will benefit these people in future. ...
^^
Line 13, column 233, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...ake money .It will benefit these people in future. In conclusion, offering mon...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 19, column 131, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...because not only it keeps them motivated ,but also makes learning more enjoyable; ...
^^
Line 21, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...orking and trying can lead to money.
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, so, third, while, as to, for instance, in addition, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 13.8261648746 123% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 39.0 43.0788530466 91% => OK
Preposition: 34.0 52.1666666667 65% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1661.0 1977.66487455 84% => OK
No of words: 344.0 407.700716846 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.82848837209 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.30665032142 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.35568990869 2.67179642975 88% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 212.727598566 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.491279069767 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 498.6 618.680645161 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 9.0 1.86738351254 482% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.7626256834 48.9658058833 122% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.642857143 100.406767564 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.5714285714 20.6045352989 119% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.57142857143 5.45110844103 121% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 19.0 5.5376344086 343% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.323554805006 0.236089414692 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.118409784428 0.076458572812 155% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.112384382942 0.0737576698707 152% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.19065327408 0.150856017488 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0933035861359 0.0645574589148 145% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 11.7677419355 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 64.04 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.03 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.67 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 62.0 86.8835125448 71% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200

Rates: 63.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 19.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.