TPO 10. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them.
Computer games have caused our children to waste their valuable time and have taken some of the blame of seeing our future generation less sociable compared to the people in the past. Accordingly, I agree that there should be restrictions on children to play computer games if we like to see successful generation in the future. Video games are detrimental both on physical and social development of children.
To start with, computer games discourage children to play outdoor, having serious effects on their social behaviour. Playing video games not only is waste of time but also implements the future generation from playing together, making friends and engaging in social activities. Even in developed countries such as Australia, it can easily notice the increase number of youth who spend a hefty amount of time, playing on their IPads or laptops. Given that notion, one might feel isolated when commuting by train since the majority of young people are looking at their mobiles playing video games. These generation will face significant issues when they grow up and like to make families, to talk with their colleagues and to make a close connection with their future children. As this example has clarified, video games impedes the social development of children which some restrictions should be imposed on them.
In addition, during time children become addictive to video games and less likely engage in exercises. This results in a raise of overweight children which causes unnecessary costs on individuals and governments on the account of related health issues. The health problems such as diabetes and heart attack are due to the fact that the modern lifestyle is sedentary compared to the lifestyle of the people in the past who did not waste their time on playing video games and instead they used their muscles for gardening, cooking or playing sports. Because of computer games fewer number of children are interested in sport activities such as swimming and cycling. Consequently, playing video games motivates children to be lazy.
On the other hand, some people may say that playing video games is very common nowadays because children like to have fun. This is not a justified reason as the future generation can have fun if they play sport together, talk with each other, read novel books or even go to the nature and enjoy their time.
In conclusion, I believe that computer games have serious and adverse impacts on the social and physical improvement of children. Parents should control their children using game consoles and encourage them spending their valuable time on reading books, playing sports or talking with their friends.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2020-01-26 | ela87urb@gmail.com | 3 | view |
| 2020-01-22 | ela87urb@gmail.com | 70 | view |
| 2020-01-22 | ela87urb@gmail.com | 66 | view |
| 2020-01-22 | ela87urb@gmail.com | 66 | view |
| 2020-01-05 | Somayya | 73 | view |
- TPO-05 - Integrated Writing Task As early as the twelfth century A.D., the settlements of Chaco Canyon in New Mexico in the American Southwest were notable for their "great houses," massive stone buildings that contain hundreds of rooms and often stand th 70
- TOEFL integrated writing: communal online encyclopedia 80
- TOEFL integrated Question: the extinction of Steller's sea cow. 83
- TPO-01 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, employees typically work five days a week for eight hours each day. However, many employees want to work a four-day week and are willing to accept less pay inorder to do so. A mandatory policy requiri 73
- TPO-05 - Integrated Writing Task As early as the twelfth century A.D., the settlements of Chaco Canyon in New Mexico in the American Southwest were notable for their "great houses," massive stone buildings that contain hundreds of rooms and often stand th 71
Comments
Essay evaluation report
having serious effects on their social behaviour.
having serious effects on their social behaviors.
Playing video games not only is waste of time but also implements the future generation from playing together,
Playing video games not only is a waste of time but also implements the future generation from playing together,
the increase number of youth who spend
the increase number of youths who spend
and less likely engage in exercises
and less likely engaged in exercises
video games impedes the social development of children which some restrictions should be imposed on them. //Description: 'them' refers to 'video games' or 'children'? Be sensitive to use pronouns.
video games impede the social development of children by which some restrictions should be imposed.
These generation will face significant issues
These generations will face significant issues
flaws:
No. of Words: 435 while No. of Different Words: 214 //it means the sentences are not developed efficiently. There are duplicated content. So how to make content less? one way is to develop sentences without pronouns as the subject. for example:
I agree that there should be restrictions on children to play computer games if we like to see successful generation in the future.
revised:
I agree that restrictions on children to play computer games will see successful generations in the future.
-------------
another way is: Don't repeat subject of a sentence. Look, there are a lot of same subject 'computer games' or 'playing computer games'
-------------
another way is: use better verbs. for example:
I like the red car. //OK
The red car is my favorite. //better
The red car strikes my heart. //much better
need to do more reading:
http://www.testbig.com/reading_and_listening
--------------
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2 //pay attention to singular/plural
----------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 435 350
No. of Characters: 2189 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.567 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.032 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.486 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 161 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.37 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.372 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.558 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 85, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...aste their valuable time and have taken some of the blame of seeing our future generation l...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 597, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this generation' or 'These generations'?
Suggestion: This generation; These generations
...g at their mobiles playing video games. These generation will face significant issues when they ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 301, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...g sports or talking with their friends.
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, consequently, if, look, may, so, in addition, in conclusion, such as, to start with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 43.0788530466 74% => OK
Preposition: 68.0 52.1666666667 130% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2244.0 1977.66487455 113% => OK
No of words: 435.0 407.700716846 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.15862068966 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56690854021 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56029832124 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.501149425287 0.524837075471 95% => OK
syllable_count: 688.5 618.680645161 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.6983978239 48.9658058833 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.666666667 100.406767564 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.1666666667 20.6045352989 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.0 5.45110844103 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.333821642977 0.236089414692 141% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.132060324353 0.076458572812 173% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0681091470222 0.0737576698707 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.22200456796 0.150856017488 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0429389001449 0.0645574589148 67% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 11.7677419355 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 58.1214874552 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 10.1575268817 125% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 10.9000537634 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.35 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 86.8835125448 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.