TPO-21 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans

Students should think about to study in university after they graduated from high school, except of their abilities about some jobs are very good but they should continue study and be professional in the major that they like, in my opinion, student should not to stay at home without any university study.

First, when students go to jobs era they have down place in that part also they have low salary than a person who graduated from university, and it makes them upset, to why they did not continue their study. For example, my paternal family had own farm business, they had it when they were child and it is continuing to our family too.my cousin, he decides to not study in university and he just working as a pig farmer and most of the people when see him, they behavior in bad way without any respect because they think he is aborigine, but he choose it to reject that opportunity to study in university as a veteran. If I were him, I would not do that., because every month he should pay a lot to veterans because of their pigs he has.

Second, in some jobs need not to study in that, like as, sellers as worked as many years and have lots of experiences, also hire lots of people. For example, my father has not any academic degree but he bought his store in 1994 and nowadays he gets progress in his job and buy a mall in center of city, also hire lots of people to work with him and they are helping him too. On the other hand, my uncle studied at pilot in university and every one think he should be more succeed than my father but one year ago he had an air accident and his plane collapsed to mountains and he dead when he was very young.

In conclusion, people should not predict their future to what will happen. In my view they should choose a way that makes them smile every morning when they wake up and want to start they jobs, and it’s not matter to they were studding in university or start their jobs immediately after high school.

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Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 546, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'chooses'.
Suggestion: chooses
...ause they think he is aborigine, but he choose it to reject that opportunity to study ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 31, Rule ID: NEEDNT_TO_DO_AND_DONT_NEED_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'study'?
Suggestion: study
...e has. Second, in some jobs need not to study in that, like as, sellers as worked as ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 189, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'job'
Suggestion: job
...hen they wake up and want to start they jobs, and it's not matter to they were ...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, so, for example, in conclusion, in my opinion, in my view, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 62.0 43.0788530466 144% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 52.1666666667 105% => OK
Nominalization: 0.0 8.0752688172 0% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1602.0 1977.66487455 81% => OK
No of words: 368.0 407.700716846 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.35326086957 4.8611393121 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37987740619 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.22275964608 2.67179642975 83% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 212.727598566 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.505434782609 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 509.4 618.680645161 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 20.6003584229 44% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 40.0 20.1344086022 199% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 94.9901879273 48.9658058833 194% => OK
Chars per sentence: 178.0 100.406767564 177% => OK
Words per sentence: 40.8888888889 20.6045352989 198% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.7777777778 5.45110844103 216% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 11.8709677419 34% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0831027227587 0.236089414692 35% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0430847454269 0.076458572812 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0152858871637 0.0737576698707 21% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0576775632066 0.150856017488 38% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0124944554292 0.0645574589148 19% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.5 11.7677419355 166% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.8 58.1214874552 82% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.5 10.1575268817 162% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.84 10.9000537634 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.85 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 52.0 86.8835125448 60% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 10.002688172 185% => OK
gunning_fog: 18.0 10.0537634409 179% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.