TPO-40 - Independent Writing Task Some parent offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Human beings especially school-age children will pursue their targets convincingly if someone encourages them. Moreover, education is an integral aspect of every school-age child life that the child requires enough inspiration to become a well-educated person. While some parents believe that it would be effective to offer money as a motive to children for each high mark they get, others look from a different lens. From my perspective, it would be a functional idea. I will elaborate my opinion on the following reasons.

First and foremost, children learn how to save and manage their money in the future. In some cases, students are not familiar with the concept of saving and spending money just on necessary needs because their parents support them whenever they want something to buy. For instance, when I was ten years old, my parents, who offered me some money for every high mark I got at school, attempted to familiarize me with the concept of saving and managing. Then, They told me that a proper proportion of my money should be retained until the end of the current month in order to buy a bicycle because I really loved to have a bicycle. Hence, not only had they learned me how to save my money but also they had encouraged me to acquire high mark more and more to earn more money. Today, I am a young girl who knows how to manage and save her money.

Secondly, parents can enhance the self-reliance ability in their children by giving them some money and want them to purchase stuff. Often, children rely on their parents for purchasing stuff and they can not do it independently. For example, my brother was eight years old and he never went to the supermarket without my mother. A psychologist advised my mother to give him some money every month and want him to buy his needs. Then, my mother has decided to follow the right way which the psychologist offered. After a while, although he never realized my mother’s purpose, he has become a self-reliance person.

In conclusion, based on the reasons I mentioned above, school-age children often are dependent persons and also they are not familiar with the concept of saving and managing money. Hence, parents can improve these abilities by giving some money to their children for every high mark they get in school. Although children can be motivated by offering other things such as toys or books, money would be the best thing for impressing children.

Votes
Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, if, look, moreover, really, second, secondly, so, then, well, while, as to, for example, for instance, in conclusion, such as, in some cases

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 53.0 43.0788530466 123% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2021.0 1977.66487455 102% => OK
No of words: 418.0 407.700716846 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.83492822967 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52162009685 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62637698118 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 216.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.516746411483 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 632.7 618.680645161 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.3548969289 48.9658058833 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.05 100.406767564 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9 20.6045352989 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.25 5.45110844103 151% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.28760020434 0.236089414692 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0951547317153 0.076458572812 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0830062704533 0.0737576698707 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.197299634097 0.150856017488 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0675311797987 0.0645574589148 105% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 11.7677419355 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.73 10.9000537634 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.91 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 86.8835125448 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.