Our decisions, when we are young, are an indispensable part of our life. Each decision, first, shape our mindset and then our characteristic which these two are the prime factors defines a human being. Some may say, today young people are more able to make decisions about their own lives because their parents have better viewpoints about life rather very long ago. In my opinion, however, nowadays there are more obstacles for young on the road to their independence.
First off, the very difference between the past and now is the advance of technology, which in my view had some benefits to people, but overall disadvantages for young people. When children spend most of their time playing a video game and making YouTube videos, there will be no time left for them to spend outside with their friends in actual life, not virtual, and learn about the basic harsh lows of their environment. These lows make them stronger and more self-dependent. For example, I have a 14 years old brother and he is always playing a mobile game name Clash-Of-Clans, in anywhere at any time, parties, before sleep, after sleep and so on. My parents never allow him to go to school or do something by himself because they do not believe that he is capable of comprehending what is going on in the actual world. On the other hand, when I was ten, I was at home only for sleep or food, and my family counted on me for doing their works, like casual shopping. So, I had a lot of chances to make decisions and to learn how to make these decisions, because I do not have the technology to enchain me at indoor and restrict me from going out.
Second, a lot of countries are in a war now and some might be in a war in a relatively close future and governments of some countries are getting irrational decisions every day which affect our lives. Today we live in this crazy and dangerous world which consequently obtain us with harsher circumstances' of living. When there would be more danger in a community, parents afraid of letting their children to on their own. For instance, in my country, Iran, people protest every day in streets and police and other powerful communities attack defenseless people in valleys and streets. In this situation, parents would not allow their children to face real an ugly world like this, which result in young children's deficiency in making more decision for themselves.
In sum, the dependency of children on their family would be more severe through time not only because of harsh community we are living today but also because of the disadvantages of technology which separates children from the real world. In my view, this would be much worse in the future.
- TPO-45 - Independent Writing Task 3
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- TPO 45- In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives 73
- TPO-20 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, it had been common practice since the late 1960s no to suppress natural forest fires. The “let it burn” policy assumed that forest fire would burn themselves out quickly, without causing much dama 80
- A major educational survey has shown that students, especially high school students, are studying much less history – political and social history – than they once did. This is a worrying trend because this will have unfortunate effects on students, o 83
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Our decisions, when we are young, are an...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... on the road to their independence. First off, the very difference between t...
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Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...oor and restrict me from going out. Second, a lot of countries are in a war ...
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Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...making more decision for themselves. In sum, the dependency of children on th...
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Line 7, column 244, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...separates children from the real world. In my view, this would be much worse in th...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, however, if, may, second, so, then, for example, for instance, in my opinion, in my view, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 50.0 43.0788530466 116% => OK
Preposition: 74.0 52.1666666667 142% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2218.0 1977.66487455 112% => OK
No of words: 471.0 407.700716846 116% => OK
Chars per words: 4.70912951168 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65859790218 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61491322925 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 241.0 212.727598566 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.511677282378 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 691.2 618.680645161 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 54.849429136 48.9658058833 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.222222222 100.406767564 123% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.1666666667 20.6045352989 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.72222222222 5.45110844103 142% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 3.85842293907 285% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.236089414692 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.076458572812 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0737576698707 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.150856017488 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0645574589148 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 11.7677419355 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.33 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.61 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 86.8835125448 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.