TPO-46 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and exam

The opinnions of celebrities are expanding quickly all over the word and in the my point of view among their spectators, the rate of younger people are extremely higher than older people spectators, because of following reasons.

Initially, I am of the conviction that one considerable reason that youngth follow the opinion of celebrities is that they more interact with technology. In the last decades, the rates of accessing to technology have been increased specially among younger people, nowadays we can see 7 years old child has a smatphone on herown. Hence, the younger population are more atending to fallow news and programs regarding to celebrities and more exposing to these on-line activities causes ascend rates of spectators.

Furthermoe, I believe that government utilize the younger people interest to enhance its economic. The government are aware of younger people interest, which is related to celebrities' news, so gevernment and companies invest their advertisements such as magezine based on celebrities to attrackt these young audience. Thes kinds of business strategies have directly impact on younger people. For instance, most of the magazine utilize cathletes celebrities to sell a perfum and under advertise print some imazing news about that celebrities.

Last but not least, I advocate that social interaction is another noticeable reasons my argument. Between younger people are some how forth and back affected. In another sense, if a young person was impressed by one celebrities, he or she would affected all his/her surrounding same aged friends, because all teenagers always talk about their own ineterst with their friends and this chain would spread quickly. Soooner or later, a tremendous range of young people would follow the opinions of celebrities.

To sum up, I claim that even though some older people follow celebrities opinion, most of the spectators of celebrities are younger people who are under the pressure of effected oftechnology, advertising companies and their own friends.

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Average: 7 (2 votes)
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Initially, I am of the conviction that one considerable reason that youngth follow the opinion of celebrities is that they more interact with technology.
Initially, I am of the conviction that one considerable reasons that the youths follow the opinion of celebrities is that they interact more with technology.

Sentence: Furthermoe, I believe that government utilize the younger people interest to enhance its economic.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and interest

Sentence: The government are aware of younger people interest, which is related to celebrities' news, so gevernment and companies invest their advertisements such as magezine based on celebrities to attrackt these young audience.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and interest

have directly impact on younger people.
have directly impacted on younger people.

Sentence: In another sense, if a young person was impressed by one celebrities, he or she would affected all his/her surrounding same aged friends, because all teenagers always talk about their own ineterst with their friends and this chain would spread quickly.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to would and affected

Sentence: To sum up, I claim that even though some older people follow celebrities opinion, most of the spectators of celebrities are younger people who are under the pressure of effected oftechnology, advertising companies and their own friends.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to celebrities and opinion

Sentence: The opinnions of celebrities are expanding quickly all over the word and in the my point of view among their spectators, the rate of younger people are extremely higher than older people spectators, because of following reasons.
Error: opinnions Suggestion: opinions

Sentence: Initially, I am of the conviction that one considerable reason that youngth follow the opinion of celebrities is that they more interact with technology.
Error: youngth Suggestion: young

Sentence: In the last decades, the rates of accessing to technology have been increased specially among younger people, nowadays we can see 7 years old child has a smatphone on herown.
Error: herown Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: smatphone Suggestion: station

Sentence: Hence, the younger population are more atending to fallow news and programs regarding to celebrities and more exposing to these on-line activities causes ascend rates of spectators.
Error: atending Suggestion: attending

Sentence: The government are aware of younger people interest, which is related to celebrities' news, so gevernment and companies invest their advertisements such as magezine based on celebrities to attrackt these young audience.
Error: attrackt Suggestion: attract
Error: magezine Suggestion: magazine
Error: gevernment Suggestion: government

Sentence: For instance, most of the magazine utilize cathletes celebrities to sell a perfum and under advertise print some imazing news about that celebrities.
Error: perfum Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: imazing Suggestion: imaging
Error: cathletes Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: In another sense, if a young person was impressed by one celebrities, he or she would affected all his/her surrounding same aged friends, because all teenagers always talk about their own ineterst with their friends and this chain would spread quickly.
Error: ineterst Suggestion: interest

Sentence: To sum up, I claim that even though some older people follow celebrities opinion, most of the spectators of celebrities are younger people who are under the pressure of effected oftechnology, advertising companies and their own friends.
Error: oftechnology Suggestion: technology

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 13 2

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 13 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 317 350
No. of Characters: 1678 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.22 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.293 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.797 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 104 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.385 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.367 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.462 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.381 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.622 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.102 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5