who must take decision in education system?

Essay topics:

who must take decision in education system?

Education system is one of the most important systems of each country. This system can teach students how to see the world in a different way and find a solution for each problem. But who should say what things we must teach to students? professionals in education or people who are working in real life and facing to real problems? In my view, those people who are in the core of a society and can touch all of the problems a country is faced to, can tell us what to study; in this way, we can have more chance to succeed graduation. These people I am talking about are business and industry professionals. Here is two of my reasons for holding this opinion.

First, current education system has nothing to do with real life. Each year we have so many energetic and young graduated people who are coming to core of the society to find a good job and do something precious for the world. But when they leave their university which is not like real world, they will realize that most of the courses they had pass has nothing to do with problems a society is faced to. They have learned some of these courses by some old references which now has changed and does not work currently. If business and industry professionals make most part of educational decisions, they can help education system more than teachers; why so, they know what are current and probably future problems of the society and so, they can tell us what to study to have this chance to work better after we graduated. Last year when I graduated in master’s degree, I hired in a food company which had a problem with one of their steps in production. I knew how we can fix the problem, because I have learned it in university. But when I told the solution to the chief manager of the company, he laughed and said this method is abolished and no one is using it anymore. It was exactly one of the most important problems of our current education system which can be solved if we let business and industry professionals to help us in making educational decisions.

Second, education system can be more effective. One of the problems which may make university and its courses really boring is this problem that students do not find courses really effective. They think most part of our gained knowledge in university is not practical and we are just studying some subjects by books without working with them in real life. If we let business and industry professionals to make some part of educational system’s decisions, they can help universities to have a deeper connection with industries. In this way, learned knowledge in university and practical experiences gained in industry will be connected and because students believe that they can do a work in real life, study their courses better.

To cut the long story short, all I want to say is that professionals in education can help us to use better ways for teaching, but, business and industry professionals can make all gained knowledge practical and help us to learn all we will need in future, not only some basic subject which we may not use them in real world.

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Average: 7 (1 vote)
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2018-06-06 nastaran1992 70 view
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 124, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a different way" with adverb for "different"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...can teach students how to see the world in a different way and find a solution for each problem. B...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 239, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Professionals
... what things we must teach to students? professionals in education or people who are working ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 406, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
... in the core of a society and can touch all of the problems a country is faced to, can tel...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 10, column 247, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...l and help us to learn all we will need in future, not only some basic subject which we m...
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, may, really, second, so, talking about, in my view

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 9.8082437276 214% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 24.0 13.8261648746 174% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 60.0 43.0788530466 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 70.0 52.1666666667 134% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2562.0 1977.66487455 130% => OK
No of words: 551.0 407.700716846 135% => OK
Chars per words: 4.6497277677 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.84493438435 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6435761324 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.393829401089 0.524837075471 75% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 799.2 618.680645161 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 74.2493704234 48.9658058833 152% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.454545455 100.406767564 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0454545455 20.6045352989 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.0 5.45110844103 55% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.144210914445 0.236089414692 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0631570247387 0.076458572812 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0747758230721 0.0737576698707 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0999237391079 0.150856017488 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0610135302735 0.0645574589148 95% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 11.7677419355 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 58.1214874552 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.99 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.0 8.01818996416 87% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 86.8835125448 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.