In some countries, young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard on their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
In many countries now, young people have to spend almost their time on class and study. Therefore, they have little time for their recreation or their interest, which may lead to their stressful life.
In the first place, this phenomenon may derive from several causes, which were both subjective and objective. To specify, one reason why young people have to work hard on study is their parent's pressure. Parents now always expect the success of their children and they believe education is the only way to become successful. Hence, they will push their children to study all the time. For instance, in some cities of Viet Nam, many parents force their kid to go to the extra-class in the evening after the whole day of hard studying at school. Moreover, another reason is that the world now are becoming more and more competitive, which will be a trigger for young people to study harder on purpose of better job opportunities and bright future.
So, what are the proper solutions for this? A way to solve this is that the school can reduce the number of tests and exams, which will lighten the pressure on youngsters. For example, in Finland, there is no test and exam for students in primary school, secondary school and high school, which enable children to have more time for their leisure and others social activities. In addition to this, the teachers or educational experts should advice parents how to arrange their children's study in an effective way, which will diminish the extra class for students. Besides, students also should design their own study plan, which helps them the better time management for study and leisure activities.
In conclusion, although it is obvious that studying is the main role of children, they still should be encouraged to take part in more recreational activities or social works, which will give them many lessons and experience for their future development.
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the world now are becoming more and more competitive
the world now is becoming more and more competitive
on purpose of
on the purpose of
flaws:
You didn't use 'which' properly. check books how to use 'who', 'which','that', 'where'
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 321 350
No. of Characters: 1546 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.233 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.816 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.36 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 105 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 69 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.929 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.231 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.536 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5