Over the last few years more and more students enroll in universities This situation creates competition among individuals Do you agree or disagree Is it a good or a bad development

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Over the last few years more and more students enroll in universities. This situation creates competition among individuals. Do you agree or disagree? Is it a good or a bad development?

After industrial revolution and the advancement of technology the high-level education changed into the priority of countries. Thus, countless universities were constituted and to this day they are continuingly admitting students. Accordingly, more students have been evoking to enter to universities, setting a race among them to receive an admission from a university. In my opinion the overall influence of this competition among students is positive due to educational, social and occupational reasons.

To begin with, with increase in the number of universities the number of seats for each student rises, as well. However, students still have to fight hardly to enter to high-ranked universities. In other words, the competition for winning a better position would screen students and classify them in the ranks they deserve. The perseverance and hard work of students for taking greater status not only create better students, but the society also benefits from the presence of qualified educated people.

Second, the competition in a university does not limit to the academic atmosphere, but it has its own social influences on people. University students learn how to maintain their friendships, while they are competing their classmates, who are their friends too. In fact this situation teaches them how to behave maturely. If they cannot balance between friend/rival dichotomy, it would have unhealable social impacts on them. I remember that one of my classmates stopped talking to me just because I achieved a higher mark in a subject. He might have better feeling at that time, but he destroyed a social relationship with a person.

Finally, competition in universities contributes to the advent of more skilful workforce. All students choose to enter to a university to find a more decent job afterwards. An increase in the number of students is translated to more demands for jobs. Knowing this fact, students would try to improve their resumes through years they spend at universities. For instance, I know that there are numerous PhD students who mostly will to take a post doctoral position after graduation. Therefore, I decided to learn work with high-tech microscopes with the intent to stand apart from others when I apply for a job.

In conclusion, many students currently do their studies in different academic levels. This situation could lead to a constructive competitive atmosphere that places them into the ways of social and professional improvements.

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with increase in the number of universities
with the increase in the number of universities

The perseverance and hard work of students for taking greater status not only create better students, but the society also benefits from the presence of qualified educated people.
Description: Not only...but also is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?

PhD students who mostly will to take a post doctoral position
PhD students who mostly will take a post doctoral position

to a constructive competitive atmosphere
to a constructive and competitive atmosphere
to a constructively competitive atmosphere

Sentence: Thus, countless universities were constituted and to this day they are continuingly admitting students.
Error: continuingly Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: If they cannot balance between friend/rival dichotomy, it would have unhealable social impacts on them.
Error: unhealable Suggestion: ?

Sentence: Finally, competition in universities contributes to the advent of more skilful workforce.
Error: skilful Suggestion: skillful

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
Sentence Length SD: 4.366 7.5

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 392 350
No. of Characters: 2046 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.45 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.219 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.941 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 157 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.818 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.366 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.287 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.493 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.102 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5