With the pressure on today’s young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery) should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjec

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With the pressure on today’s young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery) should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Academic success has been a major interest for young people these days. Some people argue that less-academic subjects such as sport and cookery should be taken out of school’s curriculum to maximize their academic performances. However, I strongly assert that practical education needs to be treated as equally as theoretical subjects.

The primary objective of existence of school is that they provide a wide range of educational opportunities. This is not limited to merely academic knowledge, but real-life experience. If students are taught with only academic subject, there would be many issues in relation to educational failure. For instance, Korean students are heavily focusing on academic success, which sometimes leads to a number of social problems such as suicide and violence. This is due to that the students feel depression if they did not make academic expectation.

The second reason why physical education should be kept is that it brings balance in life. Many students are lack of exercise and become obese. If there is no chance to go out and play even in school, many medical issues would take our student at risk. A clear example is increasing obesity among young children. Thus, sometime it is necessary to provide them with a class that is physically demanding.

To recapitulate, practical or physical education should be a compulsory part of curriculum for school because it provides benefits that are not offered by academic subjects. We should ensure that school is a place that gives students more diverse opportunities and experiences, so that our children are well nurtured in every aspect.

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he students feel depression
he students feel depressed

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 260 350
No. of Characters: 1335 1500
No. of Different Words: 161 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.016 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.135 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.767 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 84 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 5.582 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.31 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.526 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.067 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5