When people move to another country, some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country. Others prefer to keep their own customs. Compare these two choices. Which one do you prefer? Support your answer with specific details.
When moving to another country, people go to a new place and want to start their new lives. It is better to follow the customs of the new country. I think there are many advantages about blending in a new society. I will elaborate my point of view in two reasons.
First reason why I prefer to follow the local customs is because of that we can get more experience than keeping our own customs. The new comers are unfamiliar to anything and curious about everything in the country, like foods, stores and people. There are many cool and funny things happen every day. Hence, if you stay at home, you will miss a lot of good times. Take me as an example. I want to go to America for my master degree. Living in America, a mix of different cultures, means that we can experience different cultures in the world. I may live with someone from Asia and Europe in the same time and we can talk our own culture. I think that is an American custom: to share with your friends. We all can benefit from it.
Second, blending in the local customs can help you to make friends. Friends are very essential when you live in a new country. When you need help or company, friends always are your first choice. However, you won’t make friends when you live in your style and different from others. People will think that you are a geek and feel reluctant to deal with you. On the other side, we can join the activities in the town and participate in the holiday events, and then we can make some friends by doing that. Thus, joining the activities can help people to build a friendship in a new country.
To sum up, there are various advantages when you leave your comfort zone and take the new customs. We can have more experience and make friends.
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There are many cool and funny things happen every day.
There are many cool and funny things happening every day.
flaws:
More sentences varieties wanted. Try to use less pronouns or not to use pronouns (like 'I, They, We...') as the subject of a sentence.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 324 350
No. of Characters: 1371 1500
No. of Different Words: 164 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.243 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.231 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.154 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 82 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 58 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 23 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 17 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.087 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.413 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.478 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.464 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.198 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5