integrated TOEFL writing
The transparent front part of the human eye is called corneal, this part of the human body is so sensitive and it can easily be injured. If cornea injury occurred, it can cause permanent problem to our vision. Therefore, we have to be very careful about our corneal. Some of the most apparent causes of corneal injuries are hitting our eyes with ball or dashboard of the car in an accident. Sometimes flying debris of table saw or dust in our eye when we rubbed them,also some dangerous chemicals can cause cornea problems. A corneal injury can lead to an ulcer, some of the main causes of corneal ulcer are: chronic dryness of eyes, infections by some bacteria, viruses or fungus. Moreover, although it is rare nutritional deficiency sometimes is a factor that lead to this malady.
Some consequence of this injury includes eye pain, sensitivity to light, blood spot eyes, star tissue and inflammation. The term keratitis is used to describe a corneal inflammation, which is probable to occur when wearing hard contact lenses too long or in case our eyes have been, overexpose to ultraviolet light, for instance by welding arch or sun. There are some treatments that a doctor will tell us to do in this case as using antibiotics, ointment or drops, artificial tear or wearing an eye patch.
- TPO25(integrated) 70
- TPO27 (independent)If people have the opportunity of take a secured job they should take it right away, rather than waiting for a job that is more satisfying. 80
- TPO 21(independent)Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. 80
- The following appeared as a letter to the editor from the owner of a skate shop in Central Plaza."Two years ago the city voted to prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. They claimed that skateboard users were responsible for the litter and vandalism tha 40
- The effectiveness of a country's leaders is best measured by examining the well-being of that country's citizens.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position 60
flaws:
Not on the correct format.
The correct pattern:
para 1: introduction
para 2: doubt 1
para 3: doubt 2
para 4: doubt 3
Don't need to reiterate the contents of reading passages a lot but put more content from the lecture.
Don't need a conclusion paragraph.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 12
No. of Words: 224 250
No. of Characters: 1040 1200
No. of Different Words: 135 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.869 4.2
Average Word Length: 4.643 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.559 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 71 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 52 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 35 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.417 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.393 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.5 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.138 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 2 4