Some schools agree that fast food restaurants and supermarkets can promote their products in school and that schools benefit from it. Is it a positive or a negative development?

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Some schools agree that fast food restaurants and supermarkets can promote their products in school and that schools benefit from it. Is it a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays, different enterprises are growing in number. There are fast food chains, supermarkets, and other businesses that have come up lately in this demanding world that we are living in. In this regard, businesses would need consumers who will buy their products. Sometimes, companies target schools in promoting their goods or services. This has good effects to the companies and to the school itself, however, students and parents may get drawbacks.

For companies, there is nothing wrong with upselling their products to schools as long as the school premises allow them to do such. Take fast food restaurants and supermarkets as examples of businesses coming to schools. They can get a number of benefits from promoting their products to students, teachers, parents and other employees. Firstly, they are able to advertise to a big number of consumers at no cost, or atleast an affordable price. Secondly, these companies can get well-known if they introduce their products to the school. Thirdly, they can get feedbacks that will help them make some improvements from people who will try or purchase their goods. In short, the companies will not be giving away so much of their resources, except their time, effort and a small amount of money because getting known is one of their main goal to get more customers.

Schools on the other hand can benefit from these companies too. If there is a good rapport made by the business and school, the company might even advertise the school in return. The school can then gain more student enrolees with this - making more money. Another good thing they can get is that they can get discounts when they hire caterers from the fast food chains or when they buy supplies from supermarkets. This can save them money which can be utilized for other expenditures.

However, the drawback will fall onto the students and parents as well. Parents are not paying the school for this kind of business. When the students' time are supposed to be for learning academically, it is interfered by the companies' promotion of products.

In conclusion, business companies and schools can benefit from fast food restaurants and supermarkets' introduction of goods, however, I believe that the school is not the right place for these businesses to promote their products - for school is for students activities only.

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2015-06-23 Kaye 77 view
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Sentence: In conclusion, business companies and schools can benefit from fast food restaurants and supermarkets' introduction of goods, however, I believe that the school is not the right place for these businesses to promote their products - for school is for students activities only.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to students and activities

for school is for students activities only.
because school is for students' activities only.

Sentence: For companies, there is nothing wrong with upselling their products to schools as long as the school premises allow them to do such.
Error: upselling Suggestion: ?

Sentence: Firstly, they are able to advertise to a big number of consumers at no cost, or atleast an affordable price.
Error: atleast Suggestion: at least

Sentence: The school can then gain more student enrolees with this - making more money.
Error: enrolees Suggestion: enrolled

flaws:
No. of Words: 387 while No. of Different Words: 187 //More sentences varieties wanted. Try to use less pronouns or not to use pronouns (like 'I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 387 350
No. of Characters: 1906 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.435 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.925 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.554 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.429 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.639 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.524 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.507 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5