For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.
There is no doubt that success in job play the key role in people's lives. No one can deny the effects of job on our private lives. A controversial question which is often raised regarding this issue is that whether the ability to relate well to people is more important for success in future job or studing hard in school. There are some people who may hold the view that studying hard is the key factor for success in future job. on the other hand, there are some other people who take the opposite viewpoint and believe that the most significant factor for success in a future job is the ability to account well to people, But I personally agree with the first belief. In other words, from my point of view, studying hard in school is more important than any other ability for achieving success in future job. Among countless reasons which can support my idea I will delve into the most conspicuous ones in the following paragraphs.
First of all, one should take into account this significant fact that its essential for us to study hard in school inorder to obtain the ability to relate well to people. In fact, relating well to people requires deep knowledge about a particular subject which in turns, requires studying hard in school. For instance, I remember when I was in highschool I didn’t have enough knowledge about history of iran, so I couldn’t recount historical narrative, but I decided to study history in university. After studying hard in university and after graduation, I had sufficient knowledge and information about history of iran. Therefore, I became an expert in this field which could help me to relate historical events well.
Another equally noteworthy point supporting my opinion is that by studying hard in school, we can boost our self confidence which is an important factor for relating well to people. As a matter of fact, by studying hard we can learn different skills, which can promote our self confidence. As far as I am concerned having hight self confidence, not only can directly help us to become successful in our future job, but also can improve our ability to relate well, which indirectly cause achievement in our future carrier. According to the noteworthy refreshingly intelligible statistics released by a recent psychological research conducted in our country, more than ninty percent of people who are successful in their jobs, have hight self confidence.
Although the aforementioned reasons are the first ones which cross the mind at first, they are by no means the only reasons available. Actually, another subtle point we should be born in mind is that by studying hard in school, we can learn various skills which are beneficial for success in our future job. Indeed, the more skills we leran in school provide the better apportunity for being prosperous in our future job.
To wrap it up, all aforementioned arguments lead us to the conclusion that studying hard in school inorder to obtain lots of skills and sufficient knowledge and high self confidence, is the most significant factor for being successful in future job, but that was the story in a nut shell. Actually, ther are some other reasons and examples challenging the claim which are not mentioned above. By and large, I firmly recommend that we should study hard in school for being prosperous in our future job.
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success in job play the key role
success in job plays the key role
its essential for us
it's essential for us
Sentence: A controversial question which is often raised regarding this issue is that whether the ability to relate well to people is more important for success in future job or studing hard in school.
Error: studing Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: First of all, one should take into account this significant fact that its essential for us to study hard in school inorder to obtain the ability to relate well to people.
Error: inorder Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: For instance, I remember when I was in highschool I didn't have enough knowledge about history of iran, so I couldn't recount historical narrative, but I decided to study history in university.
Error: highschool Suggestion: high school
Sentence: As far as I am concerned having hight self confidence, not only can directly help us to become successful in our future job, but also can improve our ability to relate well, which indirectly cause achievement in our future carrier.
Error: hight Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: According to the noteworthy refreshingly intelligible statistics released by a recent psychological research conducted in our country, more than ninty percent of people who are successful in their jobs, have hight self confidence.
Error: ninty Suggestion: ninety
Error: hight Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Indeed, the more skills we leran in school provide the better apportunity for being prosperous in our future job.
Error: apportunity Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: To wrap it up, all aforementioned arguments lead us to the conclusion that studying hard in school inorder to obtain lots of skills and sufficient knowledge and high self confidence, is the most significant factor for being successful in future job, but that was the story in a nut shell.
Error: inorder Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Actually, ther are some other reasons and examples challenging the claim which are not mentioned above.
Error: ther Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
Double check spelling errors.
No. of Words: 571 350 //Write the essay in 30 minutes.
More sentences varieties wanted. Try to use less pronouns or not to use pronouns (like 'It, I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence. Look:
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 571 350
No. of Characters: 2710 1500
No. of Different Words: 237 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.888 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.746 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.616 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 190 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 131 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.19 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.308 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.376 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.572 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.229 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5