Some people believe that competition for high grades motivates students to excel in the classroom. Others believe that such competition seriously limits the quality of real learning.
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.
From many decades ago to now, one of the main issues in our society has been education in that this is the process that we raise our new leaders and society members. Therefore, there have been a plethora of efforts to build a better education system. Among them, competition for high grades has been introduced, and many parts of our education system still use the method to motivate students. However, some people argue that the competition limits the quality of education because students just focus on the grades. Although I admit that competition can lead side-effects, if we use it effectively and timely, it can be a good method of education.
Admittedly, competition can lead several side-effects on students. Since students may just focus on their grades, they will ignore other materials that are not closely related to the exams such as physical education or arts. Moreover, even teachers can understate the importance of such electives in that their goal is to make their students to have admissions from good universities or job offers from companies.
Nevertheless, it is far-fetched to say that competition should be eradicated for real-education. What I mean is that, competition can reap benefits if it is applied timely. Students, especially young children, are not full-fledged yet, they can hardly establish their life-long dream or purpose. This means that they barely can set their goal of their study, and just forced to study by their parents or teachers. In this line of thought, competition for high grades can be a pertinent short-term goal for them. Even if they do not understand why they need to study mathematics or social science, they can study and get ready for the real society. Moreover, competition can let students focus on their study by scrutinizing all the materials more thoroughly to get higher grades.
The most substantial issue here is how we can benefit more from the competition. Since competition is double-sided sword, we should use it appropriately. To be specific, little children, who have never studied before, should not be forced to be in a competition in that they need to learn why they study. Since education is life-long issue, it is crucial to recognize that studying is intriguing. On the other side, students who are in more advanced level can be motivated by the competition. They would already learn why they study and are ready to study. If they have modicum of stimulants, they can learn more and deeper.
To recapitulate, if we use competition appropriately and timely, it will not limit the quality of real education and reap benefits for students. The crucial part here is how can we build healthy competition among students, not to list all the side-effects or advantages of the competition.
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flaws:
No. of Words: 458 while No. of Different Words: 198
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 458 350
No. of Characters: 2247 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.626 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.906 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.822 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.083 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.461 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.333 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.506 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.146 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5