Do you agree or disagree with following statement?
Students who keep rooms neat and organized will be more likely to succeed than students who do not.
As some people may hold the view that there is no link among the room's neatness and a student's success; however, some others may take an opposite viewpoint and believe that the organized room directly affects the student's success in his education. I personally agree with the second belief. Among the countless reasons which can support my idea, I will delve into the most conspicuous ones, which persuade me to put forward this perspective.
The first exquisite reason to be mentioned is that a neat room illustrates the owner is disciplined person. A person, who is well-organized, depicts this organization in all tasks; and their lessons are not exceptional from this fact. As a matter of fact, he will have an appropriate schedule, which is able to guarantee his success in his education. For instance, my friend who is the student in one of the prestige university in Iran owned this success for sake of his discipline and well-planned program; moreover, this self-control is completely obvious in his room decoration and neatness.
The second reason, one should take into account this significant fact that a clean room has an undeniable influence in the concentration. As the room is tidy and neat, which everything is allocated correctly, it is easy to concentration. The concentration has a vital role in the student's success in the exam. In fact, with mindfulness the student can easily memorize huge amount of the data in very short period. According to the noteworthy refreshingly intelligible statistics released by a recent research conducted in our country, the GPA of the more than sixty nine percent of students in ten schools which do their studies with mindfulness, shows significant progress and enhancement in their education than student who do without concentration.
In approaching this issue apart from the reasons mentioned above, one should consider another subtle point meticulously that a clean room reduces the stress; besides, the calmness in the process of the learning boosts the leaning ratio. As you stand in neat spot which you have the definite definition of the whole subjects on that zone; moreover, you are assure any required tools is accessible, it helps you to feel less stress. With less stress you have more control on the material that you are reading. Thus it will be very convenient to handle the subjects, and it leads you to be successful.
To wrap it up, all aforementioned reasons and evidences lead us to the conclusion that Student who keeps room neat and organized will be more likely to succeed, but that was the story in a nut shell. Actually there are some other examples advocating the claim which are not mentioned above. By and large I highly recommend that to guarantee your success in your education try to keep your room neat.
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is disciplined person.
is a disciplined person.
for sake of his discipline
for the sake of his discipline
As the room is tidy and neat, which everything is allocated correctly,
As the room is tidy and neat, where everything is allocated correctly,
it is easy to concentration.
it is easy to concentrate.
it is easy for concentration.
in very short period
in a very short period
any required tools is accessible
any required tools are accessible
Student who keeps room neat and organized
a Student who keeps room neat and organized
Students who keep room neat and organized
advocating the claim which are not mentioned above.
advocating the claims which are not mentioned above.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
Read a good grammar book.
Try not to use 'you' in the essays.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 466 350
No. of Characters: 2280 1500
No. of Different Words: 239 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.646 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.893 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.802 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.526 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.482 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.299 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.542 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.125 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5