Some people believe that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment
Nowadays, the crime rate is rising drastically not only in my country, Indonesia, but also in around the world. Some people state that criminals must be fixed punishment for what they did, while others believe that before fixing a punishment, another factors of the crime and motivation should be taken account. In the following passages, my notion, in support of imposing a punishment on wrong doers.
To begin with, as the crime rates are skyrocketing, more and more countries around the world are making serious efforts on fixing a punishment for each type of crime. To exemplify, In south-east countries, a person involved in every action of bribery and corruption is being awarded with death penalty. People supporting this express their opinion that a country with less crime is an ideal country. Moreover, the people breaking the law or having harmful effects on others will think twice because of the harsh punishment which will impose on them.
The people with fixing a punishment say that the punishment can both eradicate and reduce the crime rates in a country. Eventually, the culprit cannot commit crime acts and definitely the crime will not exist anymore, additionally, the people would not be worried about crimes endangering them. Besides the people feel safe from all types of crimes, the decreasing number of crime cases can bring about dramatic changes in the economy of a country. A good example for this is in south-east countries, the corruption rate declined in 2004 by 40% and this saved the average of $ 5 billion for every country.
To conclude, awarding a punishment for each type of crime is the best way to eradicate the crime rate of a country not only does it make the people feel safer but also it has profound effects on the economy of the country
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criminals must be fixed punishment
criminals must have fixed punishment
Sentence:... another factors of the crime and motivation should be taken account.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to another and factors
In the following passages, my notion, in support of imposing a punishment on wrong doers.
Description: what is the verb for this sentence? can you re-write this sentence?
flaws:
The essay is not exactly right on the topic. it is not about the punishment, but should the punishment be fixed or flexible?
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 302 350
No. of Characters: 1446 1500
No. of Different Words: 158 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.169 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.788 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.486 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 104 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.369 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.408 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.596 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.115 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5