Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doing. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
“you have to try hard and have a drudgery personality in order to catch your goal” this shibboleth is so convenient for almost every people, specially for students who are not very good at their scores on math and science and always say: had I had more time I would have studied more to ace my exams. Its very amazing that out of propinquity eight billion people in our planet just approximately ten million people are famous for their achievement and successfulness. Now that slogan makes sense because these successful people tell us they tried over and over again while they friends were outside playing football.
First, its so self-explanatory that success comes after failure. For example, students want to enter a university should pass GRE exam that is very difficult for everyone; but it is not impossible. At first those students should study much even at night when others are asleep seeing nice dreams, subordinately, not only do they have to study much, but also have to eliminate other activities which are inapplicable to their goal, similarly they have to reduce their cycle of friends because some of them are not very serious about their future and may distract them from final goal. Generally, studying much, diminishing other activities and reducing list of friends are not suitable for anyone but these things should be done for achieving expedient goals.
Second, there is a fair rule which indicates success will be uncatchable until you study hard. This is fair because sometimes success is a loadable achievement, being a billionaire for instance, and for being on that steps of life should we think about toiling and tolerating difficulties, we wont go too far. In other words, imagine a situation where anyone with a little try can be a billionaire, at that time being a affluent person lose its priority in addition to its value. Therefore, there should be some challenging steps for everyone in order to separate amateurs and champions.
In conclusion, its an arrangement so specialized and sophisticated that people should tolerate things that are not tasty for anyone and this is a fair treatment towards everyone; because difficult steps are the very special steps that indicate whether you are a naïve person or a prominent one, furthermore it gives value to success to remain violable.
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Sentence: Its very amazing that out of propinquity eight billion people in our planet just approximately ten million people are famous for their achievement and successfulness.
Description: A conjunction, subordinating is not usually followed by an adverb, particle
Suggestion: Refer to that and out
Sentence: Now that slogan makes sense because these successful people tell us they tried over and over again while they friends were outside playing football.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to they and friends
students want to enter a university should pass GRE exam
students who want to enter a university should pass GRE exam
not only do they have to study much, but also have to eliminate other activities
not only do they have to study much, but also they have to eliminate other activities
a affluent person lose its priority
an affluent person loses its priority
Sentence: In conclusion, its an arrangement so specialized and sophisticated that people should tolerate things that are not tasty for anyone and this is a fair treatment towards everyone; because difficult steps are the very special steps that indicate whether you are a na?ve person or a prominent one, furthermore it gives value to success to remain violable.
Description: A determiner, possessive is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to its and an
Sentence: Its very amazing that out of propinquity eight billion people in our planet just approximately ten million people are famous for their achievement and successfulness.
Error: successfulness Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: At first those students should study much even at night when others are asleep seeing nice dreams, subordinately, not only do they have to study much, but also have to eliminate other activities which are inapplicable to their goal, similarly they have to reduce their cycle of friends because some of them are not very serious about their future and may distract them from final goal.
Error: subordinately Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Second, there is a fair rule which indicates success will be uncatchable until you study hard.
Error: uncatchable Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
Be careful, this topic is not for students only.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 386 350
No. of Characters: 1896 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.432 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.912 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.674 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.544 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.917 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.344 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.57 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.148 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5