The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.

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The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.

The bar chart below provides the information of leisure time enjoyed by men and women rate based on their employment status, during 1998 – 1999.

First glance at the graph as portrayed, the top two rates gained by unemployed and retired status, both of females and males, with approximately 80 hours respectively. The employed women (both of full-time and part-time worker) spent around 40 hours and the housewives obtained more or less 50 hours, while the full-time males worker have negligible rate.

By contrast, it shows that part-time males worker have lessen rate compared with other employment status, for almost none. Moreover, the graph illustrated that the males spent their leisure time longer, as seen by slight differences for certain statuses.

To sum up, with taking all evidence into account, the non-worker males and females spent more hours to take relaxation in a typical week, by the reason they have much spare time rather than the worker, whether it classified as full-time or part-time, males or females.

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First glance at the graph as portrayed, the top two rates gained by unemployed and retired status, both of females and males, with approximately 80 hours respectively.
Description: what is the verb for this sentence? can you re-write this sentence?

part-time males worker have lessen rate compared with other employment status, for almost none.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

they have much spare time rather than the worker,
they have more spare time than the workers do,

whether it classified as
whether it is classified as

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 6 10
No. of Words: 166 200
No. of Characters: 835 1000
No. of Different Words: 103 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.589 4.0
Average Word Length: 5.03 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.504 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 57 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 39 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 28 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.031 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.522 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.826 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4