People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.
I totally disagree with the statement which says people today spend too much time on personal enjoyment rather than doing things they should do.
Personal enjoyment is essential part to stay healthy and productive in one’s life. However, people in today’s world couldn't give proper time to their personal interests due to certain factors such as academics, employment, investment. In other words to be successful in life.
Firstly, in today’s world people believe in the performance. For getting employment and good salary person has to work and prove himself. If you are born intelligent than all things are easy but for an average person things are different. For example, I currently work two shifts a day in order to pay my tuition fees of the graduate school. I have to work on my assignments along with managing a full-time job. I couldn't think about getting in to fitness center as at this stage I cannot afford it.There are so many people like me who cannot fulfil their personal desire in order to pursue the goal of the life.It seems like a common man is always struggling and racing in this world full of competition.
Secondly, children have to face enormous competition in school in their academics, sports as well as other co-curricular activities. Things were not the same few years back when I was a child. I still remember life without technology was more beautiful than recent case scenario. When I was a child for me window is the only thing which was in my bedroom and from where I used to sneak out without my parents notice just to play hide-and-seek with my friends. But now Children get a bunch of assignment during their vacation from the teachers, which stop them doing what they want.
Middle class person suffers financially to keep up with the needs of family. Parents are not able to give their children extra time which they should be due to work for their mortgage and meet other financial demands. For example, average school cost fifty thousand every year, which is too much. A normal human in today’s world is not taking proper sleep due to work-related stress. As a result frequency of getting ill increased enormously compared to a few years back. For example, researchers have found out a normal person spend half of the payment in health related issues during their lifetime.
To wrap up,life of an average person become a trap from the beginning where he/she has to prove oneself all the time. Due to above mentioned issues in today’s world people couldn't give time to things of personal enjoyment.
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Sentence: I couldn't think about getting in to fitness center as at this stage I cannot afford it.There are so many people like me who cannot fulfil their personal desire in order to pursue the goal of the life.It seems like a common man is always struggling and racing in this world full of competition.
Error: fulfil Suggestion: fulfill
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 26 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 444 350
No. of Characters: 2059 1500
No. of Different Words: 240 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.59 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.637 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.454 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.304 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.106 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.522 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.282 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.512 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.063 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5