The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The writer of this analytical piece has drawn his conclusion, from the disjointed and incomplete data, that the firstborn infant monkeys produce twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings.
Here the study of the rhesus monkeys is a very low statistical number eighteen, for the precise results the sample should be a far more larger number than eighteen. Also no information is provided about the age, sex, or the individual's capacity to reproduce; Does the mating environment has any effect on the above result is not stated clearly; also the genetical characteristics of the monkeys might have an effect which is not clearly stated.
It is not clear about what kind of the study had been done? It might be on the comparisional basis or it might be on basis of the ages of the monkeys. It is stated that the firstborn infant produces twice as much hormone cortisol, as compared to their young ones. It might be possible that the twice amount of the hormone cortisol is due to the other factors like correct environment and age, or due to the syndromes which induces certain emotions which incerases the activity levels, etc is not clearly stated.
The assumption about the humans is clearly vague in context to the argument of the author as the firstborn humans producing high level of the cortisol in stimulating situation is not met with any kind of proof or study. There is not a single piece of evidence supporting that claim also it is not necessary that only firstborn will produce high level of cortisol, it might be possible for the younger ones also to produce higher cortisol level.
The study reflects that the first-time mother monkeys had higher cortisol levels than the ones who had had several offspring. The statistical data about the number of the pregnant monkeys who shows such levels is not stated, the environment provided to these monkeys might have had its different effect on the monkeys cortisol levels, at the same time the ages of these monkeys might be different due to which cortisol levels are different.
In general, writer has failed to make a convincing argument because of the complete absence of the statistical data. No convincing reasoning is given. The argument ends with entirely unjustified conclusion based on wishy-washy observatoins that are likely to be incorrect.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... levels, as do their younger siblings. Here the study of the rhesus monkeys is ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 132, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'larger' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: larger
...cise results the sample should be a far more larger number than eighteen. Also no informati...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 166, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...a far more larger number than eighteen. Also no information is provided about the ag...
^^^^
Line 3, column 225, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'individuals'' or 'individual's'?
Suggestion: individuals'; individual's
... is provided about the age, sex, or the individuals capacity to reproduce; Does the mating...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 259, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r the individuals capacity to reproduce; Does the mating environment has any effe...
^^
Line 3, column 289, Rule ID: DOES_NP_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'have'?
Suggestion: have
...reproduce; Does the mating environment has any effect on the above result is not s...
^^^
Line 5, column 152, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...be on basis of the ages of the monkeys. It is stated that the firstborn infant pro...
^^
Line 5, column 265, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...tisol, as compared to their young ones. It might be possible that the twice amount...
^^
Line 9, column 100, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: had
...igher cortisol levels than the ones who had had several offspring. The statistical data...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 311, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'monkeys'' or 'monkey's'?
Suggestion: monkeys'; monkey's
...ht have had its different effect on the monkeys cortisol levels, at the same time the a...
^^^^^^^
Line 12, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...toins that are likely to be incorrect.
^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'first', 'if', 'so', 'in general', 'kind of']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.236111111111 0.25644967241 92% => OK
Verbs: 0.159722222222 0.15541462614 103% => OK
Adjectives: 0.12037037037 0.0836205057962 144% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0601851851852 0.0520304965353 116% => OK
Pronouns: 0.025462962963 0.0272364105082 93% => OK
Prepositions: 0.113425925926 0.125424944231 90% => OK
Participles: 0.0509259259259 0.0416121511921 122% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.65556205938 2.79052419416 95% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0231481481481 0.026700313972 87% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.131944444444 0.113004496875 117% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0208333333333 0.0255425247493 82% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0208333333333 0.0127820249294 163% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2414.0 2731.13054187 88% => OK
No of words: 402.0 446.07635468 90% => OK
Chars per words: 6.00497512438 6.12365571057 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47771567384 4.57801047555 98% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.360696517413 0.378187486979 95% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.273631840796 0.287650121315 95% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.186567164179 0.208842608468 89% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.119402985075 0.135150697306 88% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65556205938 2.79052419416 95% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 207.018472906 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.450248756219 0.469332199767 96% => OK
Word variations: 47.9977968343 52.1807786196 92% => OK
How many sentences: 14.0 20.039408867 70% => OK
Sentence length: 28.7142857143 23.2022227129 124% => OK
Sentence length SD: 84.8228947242 57.7814097925 147% => OK
Chars per sentence: 172.428571429 141.986410481 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.7142857143 23.2022227129 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.428571428571 0.724660767414 59% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.14285714286 117% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 3.58251231527 307% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 56.0774697939 51.9672348444 108% => OK
Elegance: 1.6320754717 1.8405768891 89% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.489383218083 0.441005458295 111% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.161233937405 0.135418324435 119% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0754885282159 0.0829849096947 91% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.694154459443 0.58762219726 118% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.185831406756 0.147661913831 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.248694105041 0.193483328276 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.110404421235 0.0970749176394 114% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.419031398676 0.42659136922 98% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.112340447332 0.0774707102158 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.34993410953 0.312017818177 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0312617567801 0.0698173142475 45% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.33743842365 60% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.87684729064 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.82512315271 62% => OK
Positive topic words: 4.0 6.46551724138 62% => OK
Negative topic words: 5.0 5.36822660099 93% => OK
Neutral topic words: 1.0 2.82389162562 35% => OK
Total topic words: 10.0 14.657635468 68% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.