For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school

Essay topics:

For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school

In general, the statement is one of the major considerations of people including me. Some may hold the view that making relations with others can lead a person to success in future career. I, however, after thinking about this direction on many occassions, decided to stand up in contrast with this opinion. I suppose providing following reasons to support my idea is crucial.

The first important factor which comes to mind is that in this way people are able to choose a job which they are interested in. Since these persons are well educated ones, they can reach their desired career in the future.By these words, in today society education plays unavoidable role in everyone's future life success. I think that a small example can give some light. Imagine a girl who is a high school student and she is very studious. It would seem to me that such a person who loves chemistry will be a good chemist in the future, because, she know a lot of things about labs an what chemists do.

Another significant point involved in this issue is that information is power. It is sufficiently clear that nowadays advanced societies are directly associated with technologies. Therefore, men and women should try to acquire more data in order to know how to use these technologies. I guess there is not a better example than my friend who is a computer engineer at one of the biggest companies in the country. She were very smart at school and always tried to learn new thing about computers and now she is a very professional one in her career, because she has been learned what is computer technology.

Admittedly, there are some justifications by someone who argues that ability to relate well to people lead people to achieve. From these groups view, communication is the most important reason to thrive. In contrary , still I confirm that studying hard even assists individuals relationships. For example, I know a lot of boys and girls who by participating at science communities like conferences would make a lot of useful friendships with other scholars.

In sum, from above mentioned causes, reaching the conclusion that deeper study increases the quality of people's future occupation, is marked.

Votes
Average: 8.6 (1 vote)
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Independent TOEFL Writing

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 95, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'holds'.
Suggestion: holds
...ations of people including me. Some may hold the view that making relations with oth...
^^^^
Line 3, column 224, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: By
...each their desired career in the future.By these words, in today society education...
^^
Line 3, column 554, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'knows'.
Suggestion: knows
...ood chemist in the future, because, she know a lot of things about labs an what chem...
^^^^
Line 3, column 586, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...se, she know a lot of things about labs an what chemists do. Another significan...
^^
Line 5, column 418, Rule ID: PERS_PRONOUN_AGREEMENT_SENT_START[5]
Message: Use third-person verb with 'She': 'is' or 'was'.
Suggestion: is; was
...e biggest companies in the country. She were very smart at school and always tried t...
^^^^
Line 7, column 216, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... important reason to thrive. In contrary , still I confirm that studying hard even...
^^

Discourse Markers used:
['first', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'so', 'still', 'therefore', 'well', 'for example', 'i guess', 'i suppose', 'i think', 'in contrast', 'in general']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.230392156863 0.229887763892 100% => OK
Verbs: 0.178921568627 0.158761421928 113% => OK
Adjectives: 0.078431372549 0.0866891130778 90% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0416666666667 0.046263068375 90% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0514705882353 0.0685040099705 75% => OK
Prepositions: 0.129901960784 0.118717715034 109% => OK
Participles: 0.0367647058824 0.0351676179071 105% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.79784628789 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0343137254902 0.0309702414327 111% => OK
Particles: 0.00245098039216 0.00188951952338 130% => OK
Determiners: 0.093137254902 0.0887237588012 105% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0196078431373 0.0209618222197 94% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0245098039216 0.0139019557991 176% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2201.0 2387.08602151 92% => OK
No of words: 373.0 408.028673835 91% => OK
Chars per words: 5.90080428954 5.86048508987 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.39467950092 4.48200974243 98% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.340482573727 0.338922669872 100% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.260053619303 0.251872472559 103% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.176943699732 0.174417080927 101% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.11528150134 0.112833075102 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79784628789 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 231.0 212.727598566 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.619302949062 0.524397521467 118% => OK
Word variations: 76.102626534 59.2087087015 129% => OK
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6684587814 92% => OK
Sentence length: 19.6315789474 20.5533526081 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.7428936074 48.84282405 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.842105263 120.699889404 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.6315789474 20.5533526081 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.736842105263 0.644075263715 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.54480286738 108% => OK
Readability: 45.6369408777 45.7405998639 100% => OK
Elegance: 1.45945945946 1.45489161554 100% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.49416563576 0.300154397459 165% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0523229452582 0.103427244359 51% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0392094004468 0.0752933317313 52% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.463004763299 0.497263757937 93% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.168595486852 0.151897553556 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.147475523338 0.114077575197 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0797570461503 0.0781384742642 102% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.266965805496 0.336927656856 79% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.100526190109 0.067059652881 150% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.276458856298 0.210909579961 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.067340376838 0.0618886996521 109% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8870967742 109% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.86379928315 26% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.91756272401 102% => OK
Positive topic words: 12.0 8.42114695341 142% => OK
Negative topic words: 1.0 2.4623655914 41% => OK
Neutral topic words: 4.0 2.75985663082 145% => OK
Total topic words: 17.0 13.6433691756 125% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 86.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 26.0 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.