Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Children are taught by parents in a house, and in school is a place to get knowledge by learning with teachers. The purpose is to create a good quality of children for a country and new generation. These perspectives show to me that the process of a teaching in school and house is same condition to build success people.
Teachers tutor young people to find a good value that children learn about education of value and religion in the school. In these subjects, maybe children are able to understand a pattern of custom or value system which exists in our environment. Besides, it will discourage the teenagers to do bad habits such as steal, rub and murder. The school also provides plenty of facilities that they can be appreciation their talents, and build children's imagines to perform a new innovation. Among kinds of subject will encourage children to know some acquaintance that it will use for their career in future time. However, some teenagers throw up this opportunity to grow up in the top of the ladder because they always run away from school which supplies most benefits. Companies in school sometimes annoy development of children to do the best attitude like smoke and even drugs. Some children say it is cool and trend culture today.
Parents want to see their son or daughter to be success that they can bring country to get high-level in front of viewing other countries. Parents hope that their children will become leader in next days. Because of that, young people are noticed by parents who are close with them always give some advice such as admonition. Nevertheless, father and mother sometimes show bad lousy action which quarrels that son or daughter see them. It can support teenagers to unlisted with their parents and change mind set teenagers not care with themselves. Perhaps children are on strike in their house because children's mental allay like spirit to demonstrate their capability.
In conclusion, it seems to me that all arguments have different views which have advantages and disadvantages. My argument is that it is not about school and parents, but it relies on students how to carry their life because the real life is in communities. Moreover, they have to take responsibilities to co-operate with each other in developing our country.
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Sentence: The school also provides plenty of facilities that they can be appreciation their talents, and build children's imagines to perform a new innovation.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to appreciation and their
Sentence: It can support teenagers to unlisted with their parents and change mind set teenagers not care with themselves.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to to and unlisted
flaws:
Sentence Length SD: 4.551 7.5
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.048 0.07
Still have grammatical issues like in this sentence:
Because of that, young people are noticed by parents who are close with them always give some advice such as admonition.
first, 'them' is logically clear, it means parents or young people?
second, there are there verbs: are , are, and give, but there is only one connector: who
Think about why this happens and how to remove it.
You may read a grammar book.
Read this link to understand What is sentence length SD:
http://www.testbig.com/question/questions-about-essay-e-rater
Read this link about Coherence:
http://www.testbig.com/question/coherence
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 386 350
No. of Characters: 1869 1500
No. of Different Words: 207 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.432 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.842 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.625 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.3 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.551 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.289 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.474 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.048 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5