Some young children spend a great amount of their time practicing sports. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Some people know that today healthy in their life have an important point. They control the menu for breakfast and dinner, and arrange time to practice at least once time a day. It does not occur in adult people but also children do that thing because young children in modern era concern a lot about it. While others still enjoy their life with eating junk food and playing games when they have leisure time.
Practicing sport is really good for health and make people live more longer. It becomes concern for children because so many advertisement appear the dangerous of unhealthy life. Sometimes they do many practice every day such as jogging in the morning before go to school, playing badminton in afternoon after back from school, and practicing basketball in evening. Hence, their part of time was spent for practicing, so they do not enough time to study and do their homework. However, the disease go far away from children’ body.
Pay more attention to do a lot of practicing can make children have soft skill beside their academic skill in school. They become an athlete for sport which they like the most like a runner. They prove that they get medal for championship which held by other country. But, the more they do exercise, sometimes they loss to manage time for eating. When they felt tired, they laid on bed and slept. So they were not hungry and it makes the imune system of body decreases. Hence, they becomes sick.
To sum up, practicing sport is really essential for children’ health, they can develop soft skill and live more longer. On the other hand, they forget to eat and become ill every time.
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Sentence: It does not occur in adult people but also children do that thing because young children in modern era concern a lot about it.
Description: not only ... but also ... is not used properly
Sentence: It becomes concern for children because so many advertisement appear the dangerous of unhealthy life.
Description: The fragment advertisement appear the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace appear with verb, past tense
Sentence: Hence, they becomes sick.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to they and becomes
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2 Read some grammar books.
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.852 7.5
'Which' is not used properly. Check online how to use Which.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 285 350
No. of Characters: 1304 1500
No. of Different Words: 159 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.109 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.575 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.139 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 78 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 50 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 30 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.852 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.722 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.292 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.47 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.015 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5