During the past year, Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts believe that a significant contributing factor in many on-the-job accidents

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During the past year, Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts believe that a significant contributing factor in many on-the-job accidents is fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Alta and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that our employees will get adequate amounts of sleep."

The given argument is initiated with the claim that shortening the work shift by one hour like the nearby Panoply would decrease the on the job accidents utilizing some assumptions and presenting some facts to arrive at the veracity of this claim. An overview on the argument would lead the reader to be convinced of the authenticity of the claim made. However, on closer look we can find weak links in the arguments that stand out as conspicuous logical flaws. These flaws have been discussed in the succeeding paragraphs.

First of all, no one can deny that the adequate sleep is an important fa...

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Sentence: The given argument is initiated with the claim that shortening the work shift by one hour like the nearby Panoply would decrease the on the job accidents utilizing some assumptions and presenting some facts to arrive at the veracity of this claim.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a preposition
Suggestion: Refer to the and on

Sentence: Despite the flaws in the arguments, the author might be correct if he strengthens his claims with a comprehensive survey that include many factories other than Panoply and list all the contributing factors that lead to these on job accidents.
Description: The fragment that include many is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace include with verb, past tense

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 411 350
No. of Characters: 1949 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.503 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.742 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.45 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.908 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.561 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.154 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5