Some people say the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, However say that this would have little effect on public health that other measures are required. discuss Both views and give your opinion?
Sport facilities have been becoming one of the schemes of government today. Some people opposed on this plan because they think building sport facilities is not enough and other measures should be included. Obviously , I agree with this statement. Sport facilities alone is not the key to prevent the community free from malady , in spite of its benefits to the youth.
To begin with ,sports arena might help the people especially the children to stay fit and healthy. Through these facilities they will be drawn from having sedentary lifestyle and the population of obese will be reduced. Playing basketball for example, will decrease the cholesterol level of the players making the heart free from any obstruction. As a result , community will prevent from having cardiac diseases.
Another advantage of sport service is it will create unity and camaraderie to each individuals. In addition , children who are derailed from illicit drugs will advert in to a more productive recreation brought by the sport facilities. Playing with other children will develop the sense of leadership , friendship and team building in which the good traits that is enhanced when playing could be brought when they get older.
However , sport facilities is not suitable to all and it is restricted in terms of time. some are busy studying at school and some are working in day time. Taking a part in sport will be more difficult and not attainable to these people.
Others say that to be fully healthy , the government and society should give public education and render some preventive measures from illness, such as regular check ups , discussion of diseases and how to prevent it and not just merely putting people into sports.
In closing, no single action can resolve the problem. An holistic approach should be given in order to improve the health of every individuals.
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| 2013-08-08 | marjloveselmo | 63 | view |
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Sentence: Another advantage of sport service is it will create unity and camaraderie to each individuals.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to each and individuals
Sentence: Playing with other children will develop the sense of leadership , friendship and team building in which the good traits that is enhanced when playing could be brought when they get older.
Description: The fragment good traits that is not usually followed by is
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace is with are
flaws:
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.027 0.07
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 305 350
No. of Characters: 1512 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.179 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.957 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.512 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 112 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.062 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.989 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.438 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.295 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.609 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.027 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5