The following appeared in a memo from the chairperson of the school board in the town of Saluda.
"For the past five years, Mr. Charles Schade has been the music director at Steel City High School, and during that time the school band from Steel City High has won three regional band competitions. In addition, the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years. Because of such successes at Steel City High, the Saluda school board should hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system."
The writer of the argument recommends that in order to music band of Saluda school succeed and improve, Mr. Schade must be employed to manage the general music education programs. To support this recommendation the chairperson of the school board in the town of Saluda points out that during the past five years, musical band of Steel City High School was very successful due to Mr. Charles Schade ‘S supervision. However, this recommendation cannot be accepted as it is in that it rests on a number of premises all of which can be challenged in one way or another.
The first problem with the argument is that the writer assumes that the school band from Steel City High School has won three regional band competitions during the past five years because of Mr. Charles Schade’S direction. However, there is no evidence to prove that these hits actually happened because of Mr. Charles Schade’S supervision. For example, maybe these prosperities happened because the members of music band of that school were very dexterous and had many talents in musical field. Or maybe these prosperities happened because the other participants of those competitions were weak and they were not serious competitors for Steel school musical band. Accordingly, we cannot assert that these successes in musical competition were just attributable to the direction of Mr. Charles Schade.
Another problem with the argument is that the writer assumes that the improvement of the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical appliance at Steel City High School is the result of Mr. Charles Schade’S direction. However, there is no evidence to definitely prove that except Mr. Charles Schades' direction, other factors have not participated in this improvement of musical instruments and music rehearsal facilities. Maybe because of the advances in science and technology, the quality of all musical instruments that were manufactured from five years ago was improved. Or maybe the headmaster of the Steel City High School has expended more money to purchase modern and advanced musical instruments. Either scenario would provide an alternative explanation for improvement in the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments.
A third problem with the argument is that the writer assumes that if Mr. Schade will be employed as supervisor for musical band at Saluda school, the musical band of this school will be successful as Steel City High School band was. However, in most cases this is not true. Maybe during the past five years Mr. Schade has enough energy and interest to direct the group of Steel City High School, but now because of rising his age and his busy, he doesn't. Or maybe during the past five years the students that were members of the musical band of Steel City High School had enough talent and capability and interest of music but the Saluda school' students don't have.
In the final analysis, the writer’s recommendation cannot be taken to be correct because, as it was shown in the body paragraphs above, it depends on a number of assumptions each of which is questionable. The recommendation can only be accepted if the weaknesses already referred to are all removed.
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| 2016-07-14 | sarablack | 36 | view |
- Write an essay on the following argument.From a letter to the editor of a city newspaper."One recent research study has indicated that many adolescents need more sleep than they are getting, and another study has shown that many high school students in ou 66
- Colleges and universities should require their students to spend at least one semester studying in a foreign country.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position 50
- The following appeared in a memo from the chairperson of the school board in the town of Saluda."For the past five years, Mr. Charles Schade has been the music director at Steel City High School, and during that time the school band from Steel City High h 38
Grammar and spelling errors:
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The writer of the argument recommends th...
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...be challenged in one way or another. The first problem with the argument is t...
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...ars because of Mr. Charles Schade'S direction. However, there is no evidence...
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...n. For example, maybe these prosperities happened because the members of music ba...
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...sical competition were just attributable to the direction of Mr. Charles Schade...
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... competition were just attributable to the direction of Mr. Charles Schade. ...
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... the direction of Mr. Charles Schade. Another problem with the argument is t...
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... facilities and musical instruments. A third problem with the argument is tha...
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...uring the past five years Mr. Schade has enough energy and interest to direct the...
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...chool, but now because of rising his age and his busy, he doesnt. Or maybe during...
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...use of rising his age and his busy, he doesnt. Or maybe during the past five years th...
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...of music but the Saluda school students dont have. In the final analysis, ...
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...he Saluda school students dont have. In the final analysis, the writer&a...
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...uda school students dont have. In the final analysis, the writer'...
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...chool students dont have. In the final analysis, the writer's re...
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...tudents dont have. In the final analysis, the writer's recommend...
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...t have. In the final analysis, the writer's recommendation cann...
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...he final analysis, the writer's recommendation cannot be taken to b...
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...sis, the writer's recommendation cannot be taken to be correct becaus...
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...e writer's recommendation cannot be taken to be correct because, as i...
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...riter's recommendation cannot be taken to be correct because, as it wa...
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...pos;s recommendation cannot be taken to be correct because, as it was shown...
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...t be taken to be correct because, as it was shown in the body paragraphs abov...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, actually, but, first, however, if, may, so, third, for example, in most cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 73.0 55.5748502994 131% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2713.0 2260.96107784 120% => OK
No of words: 526.0 441.139720559 119% => OK
Chars per words: 5.15779467681 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.78901763229 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82808016428 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 203.0 204.123752495 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.385931558935 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 835.2 705.55239521 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.471057884232 0% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.3392389067 57.8364921388 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 142.789473684 119.503703932 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.6842105263 23.324526521 119% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.73684210526 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 25.0 5.25449101796 476% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.495856179747 0.218282227539 227% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.177403058292 0.0743258471296 239% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.156629962981 0.0701772020484 223% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.293559151947 0.128457276422 229% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.151549249717 0.0628817314937 241% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.7 14.3799401198 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 48.3550499002 91% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.83 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 95.0 98.500998004 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.