Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Througout the history, young people have being perennially seeking to select the right path in the life that assured their succeed. Therefore, it is not far-fetched to presume that choosing respectful individuals is a good approach to that end. However, whether celebrities are proper people to give this paramount role or not depends on the lens through which one is looking. There is a growing segment of people who contend this idea youths pat too much attention to these famous individuals rather than older people. I personally concur with this statement, and in the ensuing paragraph, the rationale behind this opinion will be further elaborated.
First and most exquisite point coming to the mind to substantitate my standpoint is concerned with the role of medias in modern societies. Hardly can anyone deny the fact that in the current state of affairs we face, in which people's life has been intensly affected by various medias. Glorious ceremonies, costly cloths, a wide range of TV commericals and thousands of other examples are merely the smallest portion of this huge empire which was built by medias. Undoubtedly, one of the primaty purposes of this investment is attracting the most impprssionable section of the society which is its young people. As an illustartion, having advertised a particular cosmetic brand by a illustrious artist, he sends a masage that "if you concume it you will be looks as good as I am." Admittdly, rarely does a teenager care her mother's words regarding another brand while he is determined to become like his role model. Therefore, due to this undenabile roleof medias, young people become reluctant to get advice from elderly individuals.
Another vital pint which should be taken into considearion is the matter of accessiblity to a wide variety of information by the young people. Needless to say that advent of the Internet revolutionalized the communication within people. Actually, Juvenils who highly were dependent to their parents no longer required to refer them that mich frequently. Apparently, this independecy becomes much ghigher nowadays owing to avalability of limiteless data receiving them in multiplie ways along with the Internet. For intance, various TV programs provide wide range of infomration for youths. Take a young boy who wants to choose a dress, having seen his favorite artist worn particualr cloth, he makes decision to get dressed like hime, regardless of al lof his parent vein effort to keep him away from dressing like it. So, simeltaniously with the decreasing the influence of parents on their child, children have tendecy to become like the famous people.
To wrap it up,it is more judicious to say that parents no longer amongs people who the children incline to consult with them. Not ontly do medias plays incredible role in this regard, but aslo parents lost their impact on their childs as well.
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- TPO 28 integrated writing Peary s trip to the North Pole 88
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 681, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...vertised a particular cosmetic brand by a illustrious artist, he sends a masage t...
^
Line 3, column 60, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... which should be taken into considearion is the matter of accessiblity to a wide ...
^^
Line 4, column 15, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , it
... like the famous people. To wrap it up,it is more judicious to say that parents n...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, apparently, but, first, however, if, look, regarding, so, therefore, well, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 43.0788530466 107% => OK
Preposition: 69.0 52.1666666667 132% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2434.0 1977.66487455 123% => OK
No of words: 472.0 407.700716846 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.15677966102 4.8611393121 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6610686524 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81841779823 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 286.0 212.727598566 134% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.60593220339 0.524837075471 115% => OK
syllable_count: 757.8 618.680645161 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.994623655914 0% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.9870135852 48.9658058833 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.7 100.406767564 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.6 20.6045352989 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.5 5.45110844103 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.110104643055 0.236089414692 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.032899730361 0.076458572812 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.030867902609 0.0737576698707 42% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0700032378418 0.150856017488 46% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0241592340717 0.0645574589148 37% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.7 11.7677419355 125% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 58.1214874552 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 10.9000537634 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.76 8.01818996416 122% => OK
difficult_words: 149.0 86.8835125448 171% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.