Young people have no influence on the important decision that determine the future of society as a whole.
Some people think that young adults are less responsible. People believe that young adults focus only on their own interests. Although I understand their point of view, I have a different opinion. I believe that young people are more involved in the society. The basis of my opinion is educational and social.
From an educational perspective, young people are well educated. Todays most of the young adults attend college for better education. Colleges provide the society with more open minded people. Such as, doctors, pharmacists and engineering. There are also more teachers and professor , comparing to 50 years ago. All those well educated people are able to help their community in a proper way. For example, doctors are taking the decision where to build a hospital, in the rural area or in the urban area. Which kinds of people need more care. Also the same for pharmacist. Teachers are able to educate a huge number of children. Professor are contributing more to their society by providing a better educated students to the society. That is why I think that young educated adults are more involved in their society than before.
Socially, due to the advance in the technology nowadays, which allow people to communicate easily, Young adults become more involved in their society than before. For example, the social media like the face book facilitate the way people know each others. It become so easy to share information on the face book. Many young adults create groups on the face book to help their society, such as collecting money for planting trees in the neighborhood. Other make groups for volunteering some time to clean their town. All these groups are published by young adults to help their society. On the other hand, old people are hardly access the internet. They are not able to adapt their lives to the new technology. To benefit the society you have to be more social active like young adults.
In conclusion for the reasons I mentioned above I a agree that the most influenced people on the society are the young people. The become more educated than before. By their education they could benefit the society in many different ways. Also they are more social active the old people as they can easily deal with the new technology.
- TPO-49 - Integrated Writing Task Like many creatures, humpback whales migrate long distances for feeding and mating purposes. How animals manage to migrate long distances is often puzzling. In the case of humpback whales, we may have found the answer: the 76
- eating at home or at resturant 60
- Parents today are more involved in their children’s education than were parents in the past 60
- It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours. 66
- tpo integrated 30 73
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Some people think that young adults are ...
^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...my opinion is educational and social. From an educational perspective, young p...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 75, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
..., young people are well educated. Todays most of the young adults attend college ...
^^
Line 3, column 159, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r better education. Colleges provide the society with more open minded people. Su...
^^
Line 3, column 288, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ere are also more teachers and professor , comparing to 50 years ago. All those we...
^^
Line 3, column 382, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a proper way" with adverb for "proper"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...people are able to help their community in a proper way. For example, doctors are taking the de...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 511, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Which” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...in the rural area or in the urban area. Which kinds of people need more care. Also th...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 549, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
.... Which kinds of people need more care. Also the same for pharmacist. Teachers are a...
^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nvolved in their society than before. Socially, due to the advance in the tech...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 263, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'becomes'?
Suggestion: becomes
...ate the way people know each others. It become so easy to share information on the fac...
^^^^^^
Line 8, column 713, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...adapt their lives to the new technology. To benefit the society you have to be mo...
^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... more social active like young adults. In conclusion for the reasons I mentione...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 54, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ion for the reasons I mentioned above I a agree that the most influenced people o...
^
Line 13, column 54, Rule ID: I_A[1]
Message: Did you mean 'am' (first person of "to be")?
Suggestion: am
...ion for the reasons I mentioned above I a agree that the most influenced people o...
^
Line 13, column 54, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...ion for the reasons I mentioned above I a agree that the most influenced people on the ...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 222, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
...ation they could benefit the society in many different ways. Also they are more social active ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 243, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...fit the society in many different ways. Also they are more social active the old peo...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, so, well, for example, i think, in conclusion, such as, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 13.8261648746 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 43.0788530466 74% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 52.1666666667 92% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1940.0 1977.66487455 98% => OK
No of words: 397.0 407.700716846 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.88664987406 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46372701284 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50902263158 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.463476070529 0.524837075471 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 615.6 618.680645161 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.6003584229 141% => OK
Sentence length: 13.0 20.1344086022 65% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.1317547277 48.9658058833 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 66.8965517241 100.406767564 67% => OK
Words per sentence: 13.6896551724 20.6045352989 66% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.03448275862 5.45110844103 56% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 17.0 5.5376344086 307% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 11.8709677419 160% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.88709677419 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.198153205705 0.236089414692 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0595203450737 0.076458572812 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0528897039266 0.0737576698707 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.142730252817 0.150856017488 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0171153830628 0.0645574589148 27% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.4 11.7677419355 71% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.28 58.1214874552 100% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.49 10.9000537634 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.54 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 86.8835125448 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 4.5 10.002688172 45% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.2 10.0537634409 72% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.