The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing.
"Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulty obtaining reliable supplies of high-quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our popular alpaca overcoat. Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. Given the outcry from our customers when we discontinued this product and the fact that none of our competitors offers a comparable product, we can expect pent-up consumer demand for our alpaca coats. This demand and the overall increase in clothing prices will make Sartorian's alpaca overcoats more profitable than ever before."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In his memo the new vice presidents provides the idea to resume the production of alpaca overcoats, because he sees the perspective and predict the success for Sartorian. Though the arguments he provides might look credible on the first glance, the memo indeed contains several logical flaws.
First of all, the president looks at the popularity of these overcoats which happened five years ago, and he says that the high demand will be expected. Though, some people aired discontent when the production stopped, we cannot be sure that the overcoats will meet high demand again. The reason to thinks so is that over these five years fashion trends could have changed greatly, thus customers will not be interested in the overcoats anymore. This also might be the reason why other competitors do not produce this product. Thus, further research should be carried out to see whether any shifts in fashion have happened since that time.
Furthermore, the question of the product quality is doubtful. Would the current quality be superior enough and affordable for customers? First of all, the company should be assert that the new supplier is reliable and will be able to provide a high quality of the required material. Moreover, the final price of the product has to be not so high to attract customers. Reading the memo, it is unclear why the company could not find a supplier during many years. The reason for that might be extra high prices on the fabric, thus the only one Sartorian found can also sell it at a fancy price.
The last thing we should investigate in more details is that how popular the overcoats were five years ago. If the company intends to increase its profits than ever before, the memo has to contain the statistics and more numbers. Five years ago, the company might spend the smaller amount of money on the production, because the fabric was not so expensive. Otherwise, times flies, and now the company can spend more money on the same process. Thus, it is questionable whether the production will be profitable or not.
Based on the provided argument in this essay, the suggestion to restart producing alpaca overcoats needs to be supported with more strong evidences, since currently there are not reasons to assume that the company will increase its profits.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not exactly, need to argue whether the new supplier will provide fair quality of wool fabric in a reliable way.
argument 3 -- need to be more clear. we may argue like: maybe the cost, salaries, tax...have increased too after 5 years.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 388 350
No. of Characters: 1857 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.438 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.786 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.378 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.421 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.991 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.306 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.534 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.103 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 225, Rule ID: ON_FIRST_GLANCE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'at'?
Suggestion: at
...guments he provides might look credible on the first glance, the memo indeed conta...
^^
Line 5, column 174, Rule ID: SHOULD_BE_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'asserted'?
Suggestion: asserted
...rs? First of all, the company should be assert that the new supplier is reliable and w...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, if, look, moreover, so, thus, as to, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1915.0 2260.96107784 85% => OK
No of words: 388.0 441.139720559 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.93556701031 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43821085614 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.46220635702 2.78398813304 88% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.528350515464 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 585.9 705.55239521 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.8403508404 57.8364921388 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.789473684 119.503703932 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4210526316 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.94736842105 5.70786347227 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.190596530664 0.218282227539 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0629818081394 0.0743258471296 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0366266343746 0.0701772020484 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.101532378243 0.128457276422 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0456922853426 0.0628817314937 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.0 14.3799401198 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.37 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.41 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 98.500998004 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.