school used to offer three after-class activities.
1)sports 2)art 3)volunteering，but this year, school's extra money may only can offer one activity. Which one do you choose and why?
People often possess different perspectives which of activities should schools offer. Based on my personal experience and observation of life. I strongly maintain that schools should offer volunteering activity if the school can only offer one activity.
First of all, the school should care about students' personality development, and offering the volunteering activity can help students develop the good personality. For example, my school offers cleaning works in our community as volunteering activity for all students. During the activity, we learn that we really have the responsibility to help clean community we live in. Also, we realize that we should be more willing to help others, like the community, because doing something goods always brings happiness. Thanks to the volunteering activity, we establish some good personality.
Secondly, the school is concern about the budget, and holding volunteering activity takes little money. For instance, the volunteering activity in my school is cleaning the community. In fact, the activity only cost my school only 1000 US dollars. Actually, the school just has to pay the salary to one teacher who designed the whole activity. Also, the community the students clean do not charge any money to my school. On the other hands, if the school decided to offer sports games, the school might have spent at least 3000 US dollars on buying sports equipment. Moreover, the school might have to pay some physical education teachers to hold the sports games. As a result, offering volunteering activity cost the school less money.
Last but not least, the schools put emphasis on the reputation, and providing volunteering activity can help the schools gain the better reputation. For instance, the community extremely appreciates the volunteering cleaning work students did. To such a degree, the association of the community posted an article in the local paper to honor this volunteering activity held by my school. In others words, my school received a lot of appraisement due to this volunteering activity. However, if the school chose to hold art activity, people might deem that the art activity was not helpful to the community. Thus, the school might not have been honored by the art activity.
In conclusion, I maintain that the school should offer volunteering activity. After all, the school cares about students' personality development, the budget, and the reputation.
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- school used to offer three after-class activities.1)sports 2)art 3)volunteering，but this year, school's extra money may only can offer one activity. Which one do you choose and why? 73
- TPO53 Integrated writing 3
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 424, Rule ID: A_LOT_OF_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun appraisement seems to be countable; consider using: 'a lot of appraisements'.
Suggestion: a lot of appraisements
...ol. In others words, my school received a lot of appraisement due to this volunteering activity. Howe...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...have been honored by the art activity. In conclusion, I maintain that the schoo...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, however, if, moreover, really, second, secondly, so, thus, after all, as to, at least, for example, for instance, in conclusion, in fact, as a result, first of all, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 15.1003584229 33% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 25.0 43.0788530466 58% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 52.1666666667 75% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2061.0 1977.66487455 104% => OK
No of words: 383.0 407.700716846 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.38120104439 4.8611393121 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.42384287591 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88655021548 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 212.727598566 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.472584856397 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 624.6 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 14.0 3.08781362007 453% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.0716308834 48.9658058833 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 85.875 100.406767564 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.9583333333 20.6045352989 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.75 5.45110844103 161% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.88709677419 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.350179041733 0.236089414692 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.127697564005 0.076458572812 167% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0861841254859 0.0737576698707 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.238209626154 0.150856017488 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.070969258316 0.0645574589148 110% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 11.7677419355 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.63 10.9000537634 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.43 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 86.8835125448 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.