Playing a musical instrument is one of the most important achievement for any child To what extent do you agree with this statement

Essay topics:

Playing a musical instrument is one of the most important achievement for any child. To what extent do you agree with this statement ?

The role of music in children's life continues to be controversial topic among society, with some people claiming that the achievement in playing an instrument is one of the most substantial thing for youngsters. Personally, I support this perspective because such musical ability provide several advantages which i will outline in this essay.

First and foremost, it appears that playing an instrument would develop physical skills of children. When children plays an instrument, their brain works at advanced speed in order to convert the musical note becoming physical motion. For that reason, those who play instruments have improved hand-eye coordination over those who do not. Secondly, I feel that this activity also contributes to children's performance in academic subject. By understanding beat and rhythm, children learn how to divide, create and recognize pattern which are related to problem-solving skills in mathematics. Lastly, it seems that this capability offer an opportunity for young people to be exposed to diverse culture, by which potentially fostered open-mindedness about worlds. For instance, bongos and tumbles may introduce them to african and cuban culture.

I do understand that some people would think differently and saying that learning how to play an instrument wastes too much time which could be better spent on academic purposes​. However, I personally consider this as unwise argument, especially considering the benefits that youngsters may gain through this activity as i explain before.

Overall, it is logical to conclude that playing a musical instrument leads to more positive effects ranging from physical coordination, enhancement on mathematic subject, to cultural insight. Thus, i believe that this ability should be consider as one of the most important achievement for young people.

Votes
Average: 8.2 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion: I
...bility provide several advantages which i will outline in this essay. First an...
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...uld be better spent on academic purposes​. However, I personally consider this as ...
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Line 5, column 323, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...sters may gain through this activity as i explain before. Overall, it is logic...
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Line 7, column 199, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...tic subject, to cultural insight. Thus, i believe that this ability should be con...
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Line 7, column 237, Rule ID: SHOULD_BE_DO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'considered'?
Suggestion: considered
..., i believe that this ability should be consider as one of the most important achievemen...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, lastly, may, second, secondly, so, thus, for instance, i feel

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 13.1623246493 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 7.85571142285 89% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 10.4138276553 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 17.0 7.30460921844 233% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 31.0 24.0651302605 129% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 35.0 41.998997996 83% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.3376753507 156% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1565.0 1615.20841683 97% => OK
No of words: 278.0 315.596192385 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.62949640288 5.12529762239 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.08329915638 4.20363070211 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.03067533939 2.80592935109 108% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 176.041082164 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.636690647482 0.561755894193 113% => OK
syllable_count: 477.0 506.74238477 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 5.43587174349 184% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.1719015344 49.4020404114 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.384615385 106.682146367 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.3846153846 20.7667163134 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.07692307692 7.06120827912 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.01903807615 100% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.9879759519 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.277949221288 0.244688304435 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0935403884201 0.084324248473 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0683893376575 0.0667982634062 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.18134540172 0.151304729494 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0621295058977 0.056905535591 109% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 13.0946893788 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 50.2224549098 83% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.3001002004 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.37 12.4159519038 124% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.68 8.58950901804 113% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 78.4519038076 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.