Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Traditionally, women are the one who take responsibility for bringing up their children. Conversely, fathers take a role as a breadwinner of the family. However, nowadays this circumstances has been changed in many countries, although there are several countries which still hold this idea strongly. While, I believe that both parents should share the responsibility together.
Every children needs both their parents’ attention. But mostly children only spend their whole time with their mother because their father need to work in order to get money. Most family which still remain in this situation do not realize that it could affect their children’s psychology condition. Children could have a tendency to closer with their mother and the worst part is they will not even recognize their own father due to the lack of intensity.
If we return at the very beginning, it should be parents’ choice to have babies so they have to take responsibility for rising their children together. Parents have to divide their role and their duties in the most convenient way. Even though, father have to earn money in order to provide the best facilities for their children they also have to look at their children’s growth and give affection.
Finnaly, both parents have to give the same contribution to childcare. They have to determine their duties fairly in order to avoid the worst impact to children’s growth.
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Sentence: However, nowadays this circumstances has been changed in many countries, although there are several countries which still hold this idea strongly.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and circumstances
Sentence: Children could have a tendency to closer with their mother and the worst part is they will not even recognize their own father due to the lack of intensity.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to is and they
flaws:
No. of Words: 230 350
Minimum 250 words wanted.
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 230 350
No. of Characters: 1150 1500
No. of Different Words: 132 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.894 4.7
Average Word Length: 5 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.593 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 77 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 52 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 38 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.692 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.021 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.538 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.374 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.59 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.11 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5