Consumism
Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.
We live in a world heavily plunged into the merchandising culture, which reflects the capitalist nature of our society, where we the consumers, are exposed to a daily series of merchandising ads, ranging from cars to clothes, foods, movies, houses, etc. The problem is to ensure that this mountain of ads do not thwart the development of critical judgement of our children, at the age of 2 to 5, their brains are being formed, so it is a very sensitive moment, where anything can interfere in the formation of the sense of awareness needed in each citizen, if they are to become thoughtful individuals.
So it is a shared mission of parents, teachers, and the government to ensure that those between this age have access only to material that would not be harmful to their upbringing. I also like to give an example of my own childhood, where most of the time I spent watching Television, however, the channels my mother allowed me to watch showed very informative programs, where commercial advertising was forbidden, that without a single drop of doubt helped to make me the person that I am today. I do remember watching programs about anthropology, natural life, foreign culture. I am sure that if instead of that, I had watched commercial advertising where you are recklessly told to buy the last toy on the market, the last t-shirt, the last bike, the last clothing line, by now I would be a reckless and futile consumer, that would give life to the sole purpose of consumption for consumption, without a real need behind it.
So like I was saying at the start, each part of society must work together to ensure, the young children grow up to become the best adults they can be, from the parents, selecting the TV content, to teachers in touch with every step of the child educational development until the government, issuing laws to forbid commercial ads during the interval of children's program
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-03-09 | Davi Soares Alves | 3 | view |
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 581, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...opology, natural life, foreign culture. I am sure that if instead of that, I had ...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, so, as for
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 13.8261648746 14% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 43.0788530466 81% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 52.1666666667 113% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1658.0 1977.66487455 84% => OK
No of words: 344.0 407.700716846 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.81976744186 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.30665032142 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7883468781 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.607558139535 0.524837075471 116% => OK
syllable_count: 514.8 618.680645161 83% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 20.6003584229 39% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 43.0 20.1344086022 214% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 109.202793005 48.9658058833 223% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 207.25 100.406767564 206% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 43.0 20.6045352989 209% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 3.625 5.45110844103 67% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 11.8709677419 34% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.236089414692 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.076458572812 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0737576698707 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.150856017488 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0645574589148 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 22.8 11.7677419355 194% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.29 58.1214874552 62% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 18.9 10.1575268817 186% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.56 10.9000537634 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.62 8.01818996416 120% => OK
difficult_words: 84.0 86.8835125448 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 10.002688172 190% => OK
gunning_fog: 19.2 10.0537634409 191% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 10.247311828 185% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.