TPO46
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
As a general standpoint, in today’s sophisticated world we observe in which having a role model is a substantial need for all groups to come to fruition and gather momentum. One controversial issue which can be mentioned is whether teenagers affected by this attitude or not. While many people adamantly believe that well known people such as artists and musicians have a significant impression on teenagers in compare to adult people, I fervently concur with this idea. There are a host of reasons to support this viewpoint. Two of them which are elaborated on in the following paragraphs.
The most prominent reason which can substantially corresponding with this idea is the fact that older people have more experience and education so they know more about life and consequently their character are strongly shaped and formed. As a result adult people’s mind will not be affected by external comments of another peoples such as artists. To more explanation, I can refer to my personal experiment. When I was a high school student, I had a long beautiful hire but someday I saw in a movie that my favorite female artist had a short hire. As I really influenced by she, I cut my hire despite of my interest to long hire because I believed that the artist short hire absolutely more beautiful than long hire. It shows that how much an artist attitude can be effective in a teenager decisions.
Another equally noteworthy reason which can support this idea is that the artist’s actions are interesting so attract youngest and after a while they make an emotional connection with the artist. As a result, they think they should be more look like to their desired artist. So they try to imitate the artist behavior and looking. By this manner, Teenagers attitude really impressed by artist. To more substantially support the idea I can refer to a study which was conducted in a local university in my town last year. The findings of the research substantially exposed that there is a positive correlation between teenager’s attitude and the most popular shows that cast by a famous artist in the town. The artist’s hire color is green and after a month this show continued, the significant increase in population of green hire teenagers occurred in the town.
To recapitulate, I strongly believe that the celebrated people behavior and comments have a strong effect on teenagers. There is because of they did not have enough life experiments that support their character and they easy be effected by other’s believes and because the youngers try to imitate the behavior of their desired artists so try to be lookalike them.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 489, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'hosts'?
Suggestion: hosts
...ntly concur with this idea. There are a host of reasons to support this viewpoint. T...
^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... hire teenagers occurred in the town. To recapitulate, I strongly believe that...
^^^
Line 7, column 130, Rule ID: BECAUSE_OF_I[1]
Message: Probable usage error. Use 'because they' instead.
Suggestion: because they
... a strong effect on teenagers. There is because of they did not have enough life experiments th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, if, look, really, so, well, while, such as, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 43.0788530466 111% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2218.0 1977.66487455 112% => OK
No of words: 444.0 407.700716846 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.9954954955 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5903493882 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95286676381 2.67179642975 111% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.481981981982 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 712.8 618.680645161 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.9010673141 48.9658058833 124% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.9 100.406767564 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2 20.6045352989 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.7 5.45110844103 68% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.130848779062 0.236089414692 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0450603177069 0.076458572812 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0404778439844 0.0737576698707 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0847303902812 0.150856017488 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0135054469842 0.0645574589148 21% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 11.7677419355 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.72 10.9000537634 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.5 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 86.8835125448 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.