Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for older (15 to 18 years-old) teenage children.
Some people may argue that older adults should choose the way of life for their children, because their experience of life is broader than young people. But, even they can give good advices for their children, the final decision should be chosen by young people themselves. So, I completely disaree the statement that parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for older teenagers.
First of all, it is easy to get motivation for their lives if they choose their way to live themselves. In other words, if they are forced by their parents what they don't want to do, it is hard to get any reason for what they are doing. When I was young, my mom tried to teach me playing the piano, but I was not able to get any interest to play the piano. So, my skills for playing piano didn't improve well. However, after I quitted the piano lesson and went to learn Taekwon-do because I was really enjoy the martial arts, my ability for the activity was really fast grown. It is easy to improve their ability when people do what they decide to do.
Furthermore, societies are changing fastly, so the views of old people and young people are varying. For example, the Youtuber, the personal video creator on the Youtube, which is most growing job recently are still ignored by old people. I can see many old people still say something bad about their job even they earn a lots of money and get fame from many young people. I saw many Youtubers confessed that they were faced on disagree for their job from their parents. If they just heard their parents' opinion and let them make decision for them, they were not able to get the job which is suitable for them.
To sum up, people should not let their parents decide their lives. They should decide their future way themselves. It is easy to focus on what they do if they decide their dream. Furthermore, because the society what we live are different from that of old people, we can not lean to the adults' decision making. We have to decide our life ourselves.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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2019-04-17 | Minje Choi | 60 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 166, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...y are forced by their parents what they dont want to do, it is hard to get any reaso...
^^^^
Line 2, column 389, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
... piano. So, my skills for playing piano didnt improve well. However, after I quitted ...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 501, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'enjoyed'.
Suggestion: enjoyed
...o learn Taekwon-do because I was really enjoy the martial arts, my ability for the ac...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 321, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a lot' or simply 'lots'?
Suggestion: a lot; lots
...hing bad about their job even they earn a lots of money and get fame from many young p...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, really, so, still, well, for example, first of all, in other words, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 58.0 43.0788530466 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 34.0 52.1666666667 65% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1658.0 1977.66487455 84% => OK
No of words: 365.0 407.700716846 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.54246575342 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37092360658 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.19906324416 2.67179642975 82% => OK
Unique words: 176.0 212.727598566 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.482191780822 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 507.6 618.680645161 82% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.3736097213 48.9658058833 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.2631578947 100.406767564 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.2105263158 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.31578947368 5.45110844103 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.204861925866 0.236089414692 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0766819724869 0.076458572812 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.105146646083 0.0737576698707 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.154518420186 0.150856017488 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.121410194819 0.0645574589148 188% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.6 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.05 10.9000537634 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.04 8.01818996416 88% => OK
difficult_words: 57.0 86.8835125448 66% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.