Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In my opinion, it is difficult for parents to let children learn to manage their own money at young age. Young children are still a process of development, and nowadays parents tend to always help their children without giving them chances to develop a sense of responsibility.
First of all, nowadays parents tend to obsessively protect their children. When children are at a loss for something, parents always interfere with children’s matter and solve them instead of their children. In this situation, children can’t acquire the ability to live by themselves. So even if children fail to manage their own money, children won’t recognize the situation seriously because they believe that their parents will help them soon. For example, when we are still elementary school students, one of my friends lost his wallet and were at a loss for how to go back from school. I lent him some coins and he made a phone call to his mother. Then, his mother are worried about his son so much and soon she drove her car to his school and took him to her house. As we can see from this example, parents tend to help their children easily, so children have difficulty in developing a sense of responsibility.
Secondly, young children are not so mentally developed. If parents let their children take care of money, children do not have enough capacity and they will just end up wasting money. This will in turn encourage children to fall into a habit of abusing their own money in the future. For example, one of my junior high school classmates always stopped by the convenience store after school and bought some snacks. His parents gave him money in order to let him take care of money. But this didn’t work as you can see from his behavior.
Finally, I think there is no need for rushing to let children make a habit of managing financial control by themselves. When we grow older, we will naturally be responsible for ourselves to some extent. Children will learn to manage their own money as time goes by. So we don’t have to worry about children’s sense of responsibility from the early stages of their development. As for me, my mother had never let me manage my money when I graduted from high school, but now I am a university student and I can manage my money well.
As I mentioned in the paragraphs above, it is practically impossible for children to form the habit of managing their own money. In some cases parents’ protection will hinder this, and in other cases children’s infancy will make this impossible.
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- TOEFL Official Guide - Practice Test 2 - Integrated Writing 3
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, if, second, secondly, so, still, then, well, as for, for example, i think, first of all, in my opinion, in some cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 64.0 43.0788530466 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 62.0 52.1666666667 119% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2126.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 441.0 407.700716846 108% => OK
Chars per words: 4.820861678 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58257569496 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77242021168 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 212.727598566 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.473922902494 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 657.0 618.680645161 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 35.3192301038 48.9658058833 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.4347826087 100.406767564 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1739130435 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.45110844103 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.218724238642 0.236089414692 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0841803034229 0.076458572812 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.070570694799 0.0737576698707 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.154058957977 0.150856017488 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.042675256496 0.0645574589148 66% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.68 10.9000537634 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.23 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 86.8835125448 85% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.