The two graphs below show the percentage of smokers and the consumption of alcohol in litres in selected countries, for the period 1960-2000.
summarise the information by choosing and reporting the features, and make any relevant comparisons.
The two graphs provide information about the percentage of smokers and alcohol consumption in litres in certain countries over four decades. There are two trends that can be seen from the graphs. firstly, the proportion of smoker declined in these countries, and then tends to rise up for alcohol consumption which is presented in litres per person.
It can be seen clearly from graph among three countries, USA, Japan and Holland; USA was in the highest position with the largest proportion daily smoking. During the first decade the population levelled off by around 60% and significant decrease occurred for the second period from 1970 to 1980. It continually felt down by the end of 2000. Japan smoker population decreased gradually from 50% in 1960 to several values under 40% in 2000. Holland was the country with the lowest proportion and also shown the similar pattern, meanwhile the second graph view the Holland individual alcohol consumption was the second position. Three times increasing for the two first decades, 4 to 12 litres per person then felt down steadily by the end of 2000, 10 litres per person. Whilst, USA alcohol consumption reached the peak in 1980 by 10 litres before falling down for the next years with the same path. The level of alcohol consumption of Turkey was the lowest which reached the peak at the same year 1980 by 2 litres and never overwhelmed this amount since 1960 until 2000.
In summary, these graphs represent the portion daily smoking population and individual alcohol consumption in developed countries. Overall, USA was the country in both of these categories meanwhile Holland and Turkey were the lowest proportion respectively.
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Comments
I have changed your order,
I have changed your order, could you corrected it again? thank you.
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USA was the highest position
USA was in the highest position
but the second graph viewed the Holland individual alcohol consumption was the second position.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
Sentence: Three times increasing for the two first decades, 4 to 12 litres per person then felt down steadily by the of 2000, 10 litres per person.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a preposition
Suggestion: Refer to the and of
USA was the country both of these categories
USA was the country in both of these categories
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Words: 273 200
Write the essay in 20 minutes.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 10
No. of Words: 273 200
No. of Characters: 1364 1000
No. of Different Words: 135 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.065 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.996 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.533 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 104 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 72 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 40 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.954 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.417 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.388 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.535 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4