Milk and dairy products are rich in vitamin D and calcium — substances essential for building and maintaining bones. Many people therefore say that a diet rich in dairy products can help prevent osteoporosis, a disease that is linked to both environmental and genetic factors and that causes the bones to weaken significantly with age. But a long-term study of a large number of people found that those who consistently consumed dairy products throughout the years of the study have a higher rate of bone fractures than any other participants in the study. Since bone fractures are symptomatic of osteoporosis, this study result shows that a diet rich in dairy products may actually increase, rather than decrease, the risk of osteoporosis.
The author argues that a diet rich in dairy products may increase the risk of osteoporosis. The argument is flawed and does not establish the relationship between different parameters. It is based on faulty reasoning and many assumptions. Additionally, it does not provide any proof for the validity of the study based on which the author has made a conclusion.
Firstly, the author suggests that people with a diet rich in dairy products have a high risk of osteoporosis. The author assumes many things and does not provide any proof that dairy products may increase the risk of osteoporosis. The study from which the author has made his conclusion can not be validated. The study might not be true who knows? There should be official administration data or study in order to make sure that the data is correct. Based on the information from the argument the osteoporosis caused by environmental and genetic factors. How one can know that the bone fracture is the only symptom of the osteoporosis disease? It is possible individuals may be suffering from some other disease rather than osteoporosis.
Finally, even if we assume that the study is authentic than also the participants maybe not having a proper diet that may have to cause them bone fracture rather than dairy products. Some of them might already be suffering from osteoporosis before participating in the study. Furthermore, there is also a possibility that the environment around participants or genetic factors were responsible for their illness with osteoporosis. What about the quality of the milk and dairy products that they were consuming during the study? It is possible the dairy products were not of good quality and hence the required nutrients were not in the products which are required for bones building and maintaining them.
To sum up, there is a lack of relationship between various points described by the author. Additionally, the argument is based on faulty reasoning and lots of assumption
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 326 350
No. of Characters: 1625 1500
No. of Different Words: 146 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.249 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.985 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.843 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 105 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 82 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.158 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.932 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.421 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.335 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.495 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.127 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 310, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...de his conclusion can not be validated. The study might not be true who knows? Ther...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, furthermore, hence, if, may, so, then, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 55.5748502994 67% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1661.0 2260.96107784 73% => OK
No of words: 326.0 441.139720559 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.09509202454 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.24917287072 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94525334981 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 149.0 204.123752495 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.457055214724 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 527.4 705.55239521 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.405134454 57.8364921388 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.4210526316 119.503703932 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.1578947368 23.324526521 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.15789473684 5.70786347227 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.88822355289 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.240339874078 0.218282227539 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0735654594371 0.0743258471296 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0912478733234 0.0701772020484 130% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130291108394 0.128457276422 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0757183358413 0.0628817314937 120% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 14.3799401198 78% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.0 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.53 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 98.500998004 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.