in order to become successful it is better to have relatives or study hard?
It goes without saying that in today's sophisticated and progressive world where we live, people are struggled with finding a way to become successful in their careers. In this respect, while some labor practitioners believe that forming relationship with different individuals paves our path to get a successful job, others think reverse holding the view that study hard during years of school is a secret of our success in our future job. I, personally speaking, agree with the former attitude and think that having relatives leads us to be a successful worker and the reasons to substantiate my viewpoint are mentioned in the following paragraphs.
First, having the ability to form relationship with people provides us an opportunity to broaden our horizons and be able to fulfill the requirements of our job. A sociable person who is equipped with social skills have this ability to get acquainted with different people with various points of views and in this way he can become familiar with new ideas and opinions by which he can broaden his horizons in different fields in addition to his field of study. In fact, because there is a tough competition in business environment labors who are familiar with different fields are more successful than others, so, it is better to be an ocean of knowledge with one centimeter depth rather than a glass of water with five centimeter depth. Also, being in touch with people helps us to get acquainted with different cultures and civilizations. The role of this familiarity get bold when we work in a multinational company. For instance, I hired in an international organization in an entry-level job. Since I was an extroverted person, I had many friends from all corners of the globe. One day when my boss wanted to sign a contract with a Japanese company, I was in that meeting and because I knew that Japanese are sensitive to the quality I talked with them and I could ensure them about the quality of our product and they signed a long term contract with our company. After that, I got a raise and my boss assigned me as the special negotiator of international contracts.
Second, getting familiar with key people in the work environment helps us to present our abilities to business managers and get a more prestigious and suitable job. If people know us and become aware of our skills and potentials, they would introduce us to great companies as a work force. As I remember, my friend was a sociable boy and he could show himself and his potentials to our professors. When our professor saw his passion and motivation, he introduced my friend to a high-ranked organization and he hired in that firm as a marketing manager despite he was too young for getting that position in such a great company.
In conclusion, I think having the ability to make relationships with people can guarantee our success in our future career since not only we can broaden our horizons and get acquainted with various cultures, but also we have this opportunity to present our abilities and potentials to managers and businesses.
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- in order to become successful it is better to have relatives or study hard? 73
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 408, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... by which he can broaden his horizons in different fields in addition to his fiel...
^^
Line 4, column 310, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... potentials to managers and businesses.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, second, so, while, as to, for instance, i think, in addition, in conclusion, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 13.8261648746 166% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 73.0 43.0788530466 169% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 80.0 52.1666666667 153% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2547.0 1977.66487455 129% => OK
No of words: 523.0 407.700716846 128% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86998087954 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.78217453174 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89291216086 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 247.0 212.727598566 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.472275334608 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 804.6 618.680645161 130% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 20.1344086022 149% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 81.9822328629 48.9658058833 167% => OK
Chars per sentence: 149.823529412 100.406767564 149% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.7647058824 20.6045352989 149% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.23529411765 5.45110844103 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.112130903774 0.236089414692 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0360547985678 0.076458572812 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0448917191023 0.0737576698707 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0876785339296 0.150856017488 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0748475351678 0.0645574589148 116% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.9 11.7677419355 144% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 10.1575268817 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.56 10.9000537634 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.39 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 108.0 86.8835125448 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 10.002688172 190% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 10.0537634409 139% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.