The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk clothe.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagrams show the life cycle of the silkworm until to be the silk clothes. from the diagrams, we know that the eggs moth will be the silkworm larva in 10 days. After be the silkworm larva, they will eat mulberry leaf as their food live around 4-6 weeks before larva changing. Larva start to changing and larva makes their home around 3 - 8 days. After they will live in their house, which the house made by silk thread. The name of larva house is cocoon.
People will take the best cocoon as the production of silk clothes. People will select it and boiled in the water. After this process the cocoon will unwind for awhile. People will make thread until 300 -900m, that some of them are twist. The employee will cook again in water for the next process and after finish it will be the weave.
Actually, The process is not easy. The process is long and details, from the eggs of moth until to be the weave and people made the weave for silk clothes.
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- The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in proverty in Australia in 1999.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. 50
- The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk clothe.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. 40
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Sentence: The diagrams show the life cycle of the silkworm until to be the silk clothes. from the diagrams, we know that the eggs moth will be the silkworm larva in 10 days.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to eggs and moth
Larva start to changing
Larva starts to change
which the house made by silk thread.
which is the house made by silk thread.
People will select it and boiled in the water.
People will select it and boil in the water.
After this process the cocoon will unwind for awhile.
After this process the cocoon will be unwind for a while.
The employee will cook again in water for the next process
The employee will cook them again in water for the next process
Sentence: After be the silkworm larva, they will eat mulberry leaf as their food live around 4-6 weeks before larva changing.
Description: A conjunction, subordinating is not usually followed by a verb 'to be', infinitive or imperative
Suggestion: Refer to After and be
Description: The fragment food live around is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace live with verb, past participle
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 10
No. of Words: 178 200
No. of Characters: 752 1000
No. of Different Words: 86 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.653 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.225 4.6
Word Length SD: 1.708 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 36 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 19 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 11 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 1 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.335 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.083 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.361 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.551 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.122 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4