Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.Use specific reasons and examples.
Competition on well-paid jobs is always in process and has become intense nowadays as the result of large population. Jobs are important as they form the style of our life and the way we spend our time. Actually it is critical to have an idea about the job one wants to obtain in future. Although somebody believes that teenagers should only study and concentrate on learning and should not fill their time with other activities and also their parents should provide what they ask for, in my opinion parents should encourage their teenage children to take a part-time job. This item helps the teenagers to understand more about their abilities and weaknesses and also learns them how is it to work in future.
First, one of the benefits that the part-time job offers to the teenagers is informing them about their abilities. For example a teenage who attends a cloth shop as a part-time job will find the work pretty attractive to him as he can easily communicate with customers and sell more cloths to them while they are satisfied with the good connection to the sales man. On the other hand, teenagers will be aware of their weaknesses while working part-time job and can improve their abilities to be completely qualified for their future jobs.
Second, parents and their teenagers should consider a part-time job as a strong material for practicing the real, high responsible future job. The differences between the job area and learning area will be tangible by the part-time activity. Teenagers will then realize how it means to really earn money. This reality may be in contrast to their imaginations, thus guiding them in their future decisions. For example, a teenage girl who has the dream of being a physician can touch the real world of doctors by having part-time job in a hospital cafe teria to be in touch more with the doctors and look at the situation from a closer view. She is then more informed about her preferred job.
In conclusion, it is important for parents to encourage their teenage children to have a part-time job rather as this activity help them be more familiar with their potentials and also let them realize their imagined career well.
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- TPO 24 Integrated Writing Task 45
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Competition on well-paid jobs is always ...
^^^
Line 1, column 281, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
... idea about the job one wants to obtain in future. Although somebody believes that teenag...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 702, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
... and also learns them how is it to work in future. First, one of the benefits that the...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...arns them how is it to work in future. First, one of the benefits that the part...
^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...etely qualified for their future jobs. Second, parents and their teenagers shou...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, first, if, look, may, really, second, so, then, thus, well, while, for example, in conclusion, in contrast, in contrast to, in my opinion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1803.0 1977.66487455 91% => OK
No of words: 374.0 407.700716846 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.82085561497 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3976220399 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55210927394 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.491978609626 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 563.4 618.680645161 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 70.9730465271 48.9658058833 145% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.2 100.406767564 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.9333333333 20.6045352989 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.4666666667 5.45110844103 210% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.362183892712 0.236089414692 153% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.130446719788 0.076458572812 171% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0806798499761 0.0737576698707 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.261155020203 0.150856017488 173% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0347293401406 0.0645574589148 54% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 11.7677419355 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 58.1214874552 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.04 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 86.8835125448 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 65.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 19.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.