If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer?

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If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer?

We all desire the best for our hometown, after all this is the place that we should be proud of, and always brag about. If I have the chance to change anything about my hometown, I would definitely change the smoking policy.In my hometown , smoking is allowed almost everywhere; in coffee shops, in restaurants, in some pulic transportations and sometimes even at certain work places. The fact that makes me feel miserable as smoking has several disadvantages that my hometown could be exempt of.

First of all,the risks of smoking are tremendously serious, and should not be ignored. Smoking can ...

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2012-11-27 nargess1981 48 view
2012-11-26 Rasha 77 view
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Comments

Sentence: Unfortunately many people spends their money on cigarretes instead of spending them on something more beneficial.
Description: The fragment people spends their is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace spends with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive

Sentence: Smoking can lead to the most dangerous life threatening diseases where Cancer is on top of them. my country can play a major role in detering such risks by disseminating certain rules and regulations that prohibit the smokers from smoking everywhere.
Error: detering Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Secondly,smoking is obviously an awful habbit in which a person can easily get attached to, and unfortunatly very hard to quit thus I think that my country should be particularly more strict about this, aiming to tame bad smoking habits from the get go. this could be accomplished by further educating the people through prochures, lectures, TV and radio shows and so on.
Error: unfortunatly Suggestion: unfortunately
Error: prochures Suggestion: procures
Error: habbit Suggestion: habit

Sentence: If I have the chance to change anything about my hometown, I would definitely change the smoking policy.In my hometown , smoking is allowed almost everywhere; in coffee shops, in restaurants, in some pulic transportations and sometimes even at certain work places.
Error: pulic Suggestion: public

Sentence: Unfortunately many people spends their money on cigarretes instead of spending them on something more beneficial.
Error: cigarretes Suggestion: cigarettes

Sentence: Those money that are spent on buying packs of cigarretes can be more of a value if donated to hospitals, nursing homes, schools and hence contributing in building a better hometown.
Error: cigarretes Suggestion: cigarettes

flaws:
No. of Words: 310 350
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 27 in 30
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 310 350
No. of Characters: 1477 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.196 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.765 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.717 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 104 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 74 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.182 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.45 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.382 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.679 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.123 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5