Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The argument says that Pirouettes ballet school is clear choice for any child. This conclusion is based on the premise that they are the best dance school and many of their students have gone to become professional dancers. At first the argument may sound logical and true but there are several questions that are not answered properly. Answering those questions will make the argument stronger. Some of them are.
Firstly, The argument says that out of all dance school in Elmtown ,Pirouettes has most intensive program. The argument failed to mentioned what is the intensive program? Is it costly ? How it is the most intensive ?They must have made a comparison of there program with the other school in order to proof their point. If the author could have compared the program of other school and cost with theirs would have strengthen the argument . Mentioning the details about the program offered by their school will surely support the argument.
Secondly, The argument says their teacher had dance in the most prestigious ballet company all around the world. What where the name of those company? How many teachers have done this? . There may be a possibility that out of 20 teacher only 2 or 3 have danced in the prestigious company. By giving the name of the teacher and information of the company in which they have danced would surely strengthen the argument.
Lastly, the argument says many of their student had gone to become professional dancers around the globe. How many students went ? Did they become professional dancers? How many became professional Dancers?. Answering suh questions will tell much more about the school.
In conclusion, As now the argument stays with lack of evidences. Many answers are not given like 1) Details about the intensive program and comparison with other schools. 2) Details about the teacher who haved dance in prestigious company and details of company as well. 3) Details of student like have they became a professional dancers.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 329 350
No. of Characters: 1610 1500
No. of Different Words: 149 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.259 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.894 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.456 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.16 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.697 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.32 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.513 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.098 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 67, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... that out of all dance school in Elmtown ,Pirouettes has most intensive program. T...
^^
Line 3, column 217, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: They
... costly ? How it is the most intensive ?They must have made a comparison of there pr...
^^^^
Line 3, column 414, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'strengthened'.
Suggestion: strengthened
... school and cost with theirs would have strengthen the argument . Mentioning the details a...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 437, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...heirs would have strengthen the argument . Mentioning the details about the progra...
^^
Line 5, column 137, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this company' or 'those companies'?
Suggestion: this company; those companies
...round the world. What where the name of those company? How many teachers have done this? . Th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 186, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...pany? How many teachers have done this? . There may be a possibility that out of ...
^
Line 5, column 230, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'teacher' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'teachers'.
Suggestion: teachers
...ere may be a possibility that out of 20 teacher only 2 or 3 have danced in the prestigi...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 250, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'have' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'haves'.
Suggestion: haves
...lity that out of 20 teacher only 2 or 3 have danced in the prestigious company. By g...
^^^^
Line 9, column 15, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...more about the school. In conclusion, As now the argument stays with lack of e...
^^
Line 9, column 329, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'dancer'?
Suggestion: dancer
...nt like have they became a professional dancers.
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, if, lastly, may, second, secondly, so, then, well, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1661.0 2260.96107784 73% => OK
No of words: 329.0 441.139720559 75% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.04863221884 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25891501996 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55776891479 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 153.0 204.123752495 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.465045592705 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 497.7 705.55239521 71% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 13.0 22.8473053892 57% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 38.0683595654 57.8364921388 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 66.44 119.503703932 56% => More chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 13.16 23.324526521 56% => More words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 3.4 5.70786347227 60% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.383292607678 0.218282227539 176% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.10825878726 0.0743258471296 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.108497101542 0.0701772020484 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.211555150981 0.128457276422 165% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0894464075456 0.0628817314937 142% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.9 14.3799401198 62% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 66.74 48.3550499002 138% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 12.197005988 59% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 11.12 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.78 8.32208582834 81% => OK
difficult_words: 52.0 98.500998004 53% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 12.3882235529 44% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 7.2 11.1389221557 65% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 11.9071856287 59% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.