Education of kids is an essential concern of all parent, it is a crucial thing for children future, since all parent try to do their best to let kid get advance education. Some parents prefer to give their kids money when they get a high score, other do not prefer this method, to me I do not concur with the statement that parent give their children money as a reward when they get a good academic achievement in the school.
Admittedly, some people believe that giving student money will encourage them to improve their score, but to my I thought that this method will have a negative impact on kids achievement. In the following paragraph I will explain my point of view.
First, and foremost, giving kids money when they improve their grade will have opposite effect on their studying, because young people immature enough, they will believe that the only cause of teaching is for getting money, hence when we stop giving them money they might refuse to study hard and their academic achievement will become worse. For example, my cousin used to reward hid son by giving him ten dollar when he gets 80 degree in the test and 20 $ when he got 100, when he becomes in middle school his parents stop this habit, in the other hand his son neglects his studying and fell in his tests, as we see that if his parent did not give him money when he was in the elementary school, he does not stop doing hard when they does not get money in middle school.
Furthermore, we can reward our kids for good school achievement by more effective different ways rather than giving money, like traveling, this is a compelling example from my real live, when I was student, if I got a high score my parent reward me by traveling in united state to different places like New York and Pennsylvania, therefore I got a lot of historical information about our country that can not be get from books. From my experience traveling not only release the tiredness but also provide us with knowledge.
To sum up, the statement is not persuasive as it stands, this based on exposition mentioned above, giving money to kids may ruin their behave, in addition we can reward our kids by alternative methods that can encourage them.
Education of kids is an essential concern of all parent, it is a crucial thing for children future, since all parent try to do their best to let kid get advance education. Some parents prefer to give their kids money when they get a high score, other do not prefer this method, to me I do not concur with the statement that parent give their children money as a reward when they get a good academic achievement in the school.
Admittedly, some people believe that giving student money will encourage them to improve their score, but to my I thought that this method will have a negative impact on kids achievement. In the following paragraph I will explain my point of view.
First, and foremost, giving kids money when they improve their grade will have opposite effect on their studying, because young people immature enough, they will believe that the only cause of teaching is for getting money, hence when we stop giving them money they might refuse to study hard and their academic achievement will become worse. For example, my cousin used to reward hid son by giving him ten dollar when he gets 80 degree in the test and 20 $ when he got 100, when he becomes in middle school his parents stop this habit, in the other hand his son neglects his studying and fell in his tests, as we see that if his parent did not give him money when he was in the elementary school, he does not stop doing hard when they does not get money in middle school.
Furthermore, we can reward our kids for good school achievement by more effective different ways rather than giving money, like traveling, this is a compelling example from my real live, when I was student, if I got a high score my parent reward me by traveling in united state to different places like New York and Pennsylvania, therefore I got a lot of historical information about our country that can not be get from books. From my experience traveling not only release the tiredness but also provide us with knowledge.
To sum up, the statement is not persuasive as it stands, this based on exposition mentioned above, giving money to kids may ruin their behave, in addition we can reward our kids by alternative methods that can encourage them.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2021-05-17 | talelaldabous | 66 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...od academic achievement in the school. Admittedly, some people believe that giv...
^^
Line 3, column 408, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'dollars'.
Suggestion: dollars
...sed to reward hid son by giving him ten dollar when he gets 80 degree in the test and ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 454, Rule ID: CURRENCY[2]
Message: The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: '$20'.
Suggestion: $20
... when he gets 80 degree in the test and 20 $ when he got 100, when he becomes in mid...
^^^^
Line 3, column 737, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'do'
Suggestion: do
..., he does not stop doing hard when they does not get money in middle school. Fur...
^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y does not get money in middle school. Furthermore, we can reward our kids for ...
^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s but also provide us with knowledge. To sum up, the statement is not persuasi...
^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ive methods that can encourage them.
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, hence, if, may, so, therefore, for example, in addition, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 65.0 43.0788530466 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 45.0 52.1666666667 86% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1816.0 1977.66487455 92% => OK
No of words: 394.0 407.700716846 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.60913705584 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45527027702 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42311149471 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 212.727598566 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.492385786802 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 560.7 618.680645161 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 20.6003584229 44% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 43.0 20.1344086022 214% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 125.943942066 48.9658058833 257% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 201.777777778 100.406767564 201% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 43.7777777778 20.6045352989 212% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 10.7777777778 5.45110844103 198% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.488784184216 0.236089414692 207% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.22457511604 0.076458572812 294% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.236083436017 0.0737576698707 320% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.284167777416 0.150856017488 188% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.28008851723 0.0645574589148 434% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 22.2 11.7677419355 189% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 58.1214874552 77% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 17.7 10.1575268817 174% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.35 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.33 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 86.8835125448 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 10.002688172 185% => OK
gunning_fog: 19.2 10.0537634409 191% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 10.247311828 185% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...od academic achievement in the school. Admittedly, some people believe that giv...
^^
Line 3, column 408, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'dollars'.
Suggestion: dollars
...sed to reward hid son by giving him ten dollar when he gets 80 degree in the test and ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 454, Rule ID: CURRENCY[2]
Message: The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: '$20'.
Suggestion: $20
... when he gets 80 degree in the test and 20 $ when he got 100, when he becomes in mid...
^^^^
Line 3, column 737, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'do'
Suggestion: do
..., he does not stop doing hard when they does not get money in middle school. Fur...
^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y does not get money in middle school. Furthermore, we can reward our kids for ...
^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s but also provide us with knowledge. To sum up, the statement is not persuasi...
^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ive methods that can encourage them.
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, hence, if, may, so, therefore, for example, in addition, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 65.0 43.0788530466 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 45.0 52.1666666667 86% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1816.0 1977.66487455 92% => OK
No of words: 394.0 407.700716846 97% => OK
Chars per words: 4.60913705584 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45527027702 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42311149471 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 212.727598566 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.492385786802 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 560.7 618.680645161 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 20.6003584229 44% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 43.0 20.1344086022 214% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 125.943942066 48.9658058833 257% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 201.777777778 100.406767564 201% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 43.7777777778 20.6045352989 212% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 10.7777777778 5.45110844103 198% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.488784184216 0.236089414692 207% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.22457511604 0.076458572812 294% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.236083436017 0.0737576698707 320% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.284167777416 0.150856017488 188% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.28008851723 0.0645574589148 434% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 22.2 11.7677419355 189% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 58.1214874552 77% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 17.7 10.1575268817 174% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.35 10.9000537634 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.33 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 86.8835125448 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 10.002688172 185% => OK
gunning_fog: 19.2 10.0537634409 191% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 10.247311828 185% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.