Several recent studies have shown a link between health and stair usage. One recently completed study shows that people who live in stairs-only apartment buildings (that is, buildings without elevators) live an average of three years longer than do people who live in buildings with both elevators and stairs. A second study shows that elderly residents of buildings with elevators make, on average, twice as many visits to doctors each year as do residents of buildings without elevators. Furthermore, several doctor's offices are reporting that residents of stairs-only buildings scored higher than average on questionnaires administered to new patients, in which the patients were asked to rate several aspects of their own health (e.g., fitness, sleep quality, susceptibility to injury, etc.). The clearest explanation for these findings is that the moderate daily exercise required of residents who must use the stairs instead of elevators increases people's health and longevity.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author’s explanation for a link between health and stair usage is that the moderate daily sport required of dwellers who have to use the stairs instead of elevators increases people's health and longevity. However, there are some alternative explanations can undermine the conclusion.
To begin with, the arguer fails to establish the causal relationship between living in stairs-only apartment buildings and heath. It is highly possible that other factors can explain health. For instance, health might have resulted from nice sleep; Since the apartment located on a countryside, there are less noise than the building. It is also likely that residents who live in apartment have a regular exercise, whereas residents who live in building have no regular exercise because they are busy with work. Lacking evidence that links heath to living in apartment, it is presumptuous to suggest living in apartment was responsible for health.
Further, the author relies on study to suggest that elderly residents who live in building make twice as many visits to doctors as residents who live in apartment. However, this study does not mention the exactly number of patients. Specifically, 100 elderly patients who live in building visit to doctor regularly, and there are only totally 120 patients who are elderly. As a frail people, it is common to visit doctor as twice as young people per year. As a result, the study cannot represent the overall number of residents who live in building and apartment. Without preclude such an alternative explanation, the study is unreasonable to support the conclusion.
Even if the study that elderly residents who live in apartment visit to doctor as twice as residents who live in building has their merits, the report from doctor’s office could have an another explanation. The report asserts that residents of stairs-only buildings scored higher than average on questionnaires administered to new patients. The sampling methodology must be concerned. It is possible that the number of respondents who live in building is ten times respondents who live in apartment. Thus, the report might lose its fairness. Without ruling out an alternative explanation, such as this, the report is unwarranted to support the conclusion.
To sum up, if author can offer that links heath to living in apartment, the exactly number of patients, and sampling methodology as pieces of cogent evidence, the conclusion could be more reasonable.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 393 350
No. of Characters: 2025 1500
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.452 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.153 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.766 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 160 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.65 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.586 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.337 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.385 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.065 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 2 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 140, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s who live in building has their merits, the report from doctor’s office could ha...
^^
Line 5, column 185, Rule ID: AN_ANOTHER[1]
Message: One of these determiners is redundant in this context. Choose only one: 'an explanation' or 'another explanation'.
Suggestion: an explanation; another explanation
... report from doctor’s office could have an another explanation. The report asserts that residents of s...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, so, thus, well, whereas, for instance, such as, as a result, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 21.0 13.6137724551 154% => OK
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2082.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 393.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.29770992366 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45244063426 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88937095952 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.47582697201 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 647.1 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 50.3861091969 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.1 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.65 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.2 5.70786347227 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.42406845168 0.218282227539 194% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.122653830103 0.0743258471296 165% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0868892035527 0.0701772020484 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.226334842799 0.128457276422 176% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0921276410908 0.0628817314937 147% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.3799401198 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.46 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.07 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.