Some people think that advertising aimed at children should be banned To what extent do you agree or disagree

Essay topics:

Some people think that advertising aimed at children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

These days, adverting industry has progressed at a fast pace around the world and we are too familiar with the attendance of big star names such as Lionel Messi or Christian Ronaldo and so on. However, the things that amaze us the most is that children can also become advertising characters and there are lot of arguments about should it be banned. For me, I totally disagree with this argument.
The first reason that we should not prevent children from doing that is that children can gain more social experience for themselves. When they are invited to participate in advertising shows, for example, they can meet a lot of senior or executive producers and directors or even their favorite celebrities which could be big chances for children to study from that successful persons in their workplace and open their social circles relationships.
Secondly, when it comes to individual soft skill, time management is definitely the hardest skill that people rarely have gotten in to it much before. Nevertheless, those children can acquire this skill in easier manners. For example, co-ops students can arrange their time in varied way to balance their work and study as long as they can make certain that everything is on the right tracks. This could reduce the workload and create good work habits for children right at the young age.
Last but not least, those little stars could make money by themselves independently and help their family finances. Moreover, they can help poor people by making charities, so that they can understand the value of money and love their endeavor.
In conclusion, though there are a lot of arguments about the popularity of children advertising commercials. I do believe that this is an open world, everyone had chances to expose themselves and there should not be any restriction for this action.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 368, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...as they can make certain that everything is on the right tracks. This could reduc...
^^
Line 5, column 249, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...not be any restriction for this action.
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, moreover, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, for example, in conclusion, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 13.1623246493 91% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 7.85571142285 178% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 10.4138276553 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 7.30460921844 178% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 24.0651302605 175% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 32.0 41.998997996 76% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.3376753507 72% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1536.0 1615.20841683 95% => OK
No of words: 306.0 315.596192385 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.01960784314 5.12529762239 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18244613648 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.65061489533 2.80592935109 94% => OK
Unique words: 175.0 176.041082164 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.571895424837 0.561755894193 102% => OK
syllable_count: 466.2 506.74238477 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.76152304609 21% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.2975951904 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.3972168205 49.4020404114 128% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.153846154 106.682146367 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.5384615385 20.7667163134 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.30769230769 7.06120827912 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.150298996863 0.244688304435 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0593142716586 0.084324248473 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0439625715671 0.0667982634062 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0883671876593 0.151304729494 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.04296569347 0.056905535591 76% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 13.0946893788 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 50.2224549098 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 11.3001002004 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.4159519038 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.29 8.58950901804 97% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 78.4519038076 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 9.78957915832 107% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.1190380762 111% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.