TPO20
I agree. In my opinion, because of the following three reasons, the importance of extended family has decreased a lot during our history.
The first point I want to make is that in the past, people relied on help from their extended family. For example, in the past, many places in my country were not under government’s control. Since laws were not implemented thoroughly, the crime rates back then were much higher than now. As a result, my ancestors needed great assistance from their big family to stay safe and protected in their society. However, nowadays the government has good control over nearly every corner in my country. So, the help from extended family seems to diminish.
In addition, modern people are exposed to a growing amount of relationship. Since they have too many new friends to care about, they put less emphasis on their extended family. For instance, when my mother was young, she knew only a few people from her community. In other words, she spent most of her time with them, including members from her extended family. However, nowadays we meet and make friends with more and more people. Therefore, we have less and less focus on each relationship. And, the relationship with our extended family has also become less important to us.
Also, the distance between where the members from extended family live has increased because traffic system now is much more convenient than before. For example, because my ancestors needed help from their extended family, they had to stay close to its members. Since the members mostly lived in the same or nearby place, they were more connected to one another. On the contrary, today we are able to travel to any place in a shorter time. So, we do not have to live close to our extended family. As a result, we became less connected to the family members.
In sum, the mentioned three reasons explain why I agree with the statement. First, people no longer need as much help from extended family. Also, the increasing exposure to relationship has decreased people’s emphasis on each relationship. Lastly, people do not live close to their extended family anymore.
- TPO 47 3
- TPO 1 70
- TOEFL TPO 42 Integrated Writing Task 80
- Sometimes you are required to meet with another person to provide feedback about that person s work for example when you must give your opinions about a classmate s work on an assignment or your thoughts about a coworker s contribution to a project When y 62
- If you are a leader for a group of three to four people which of the following features are the most important when choosing group members honesty the ability to get along well with others the ability to communicate clearly 73
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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Suggestion:
...decreased a lot during our history. The first point I want to make is that i...
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Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...m extended family seems to diminish. In addition, modern people are exposed t...
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Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...as also become less important to us. Also, the distance between where the mem...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ess connected to the family members. In sum, the mentioned three reasons expl...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, lastly, so, then, therefore, for example, for instance, in addition, as a result, in my opinion, in other words, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 9.8082437276 10% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 3.0 11.0286738351 27% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 36.0 43.0788530466 84% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 52.1666666667 113% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1788.0 1977.66487455 90% => OK
No of words: 363.0 407.700716846 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.92561983471 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3649236973 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52121657612 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 212.727598566 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.506887052342 0.524837075471 97% => OK
syllable_count: 564.3 618.680645161 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 9.59856630824 104% => OK
Article: 8.0 3.08781362007 259% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 27.7542357128 48.9658058833 57% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 74.5 100.406767564 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.125 20.6045352989 73% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.25 5.45110844103 115% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.88709677419 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.236089414692 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.076458572812 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0737576698707 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.150856017488 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0645574589148 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.4 11.7677419355 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 58.1214874552 97% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.72 10.9000537634 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.25 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 86.8835125448 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.